Saturday, February 19, 2011

Learning to Control Your Emotions

How many times have emotional outbursts destroyed a life or career? Our emotions can either work for us or against us depending on how we handle them. Gaining control of your emotions is a practice which requires maturity and experience. We have to learn to recognize the emotions which seek to propel us into action and respond accordingly rather than to react as they tell us which is often not good. We can’t prevent emotions but we can choose to not allow them to cause us to perform negative behaviors. Yes we will be affected by emotions and initial reactions but learn how to exercise control over your mind.

We have to learn not to be ruled by our emotions. Once we master this we will do better in every aspect of life. For example, the grifter or scam artist uses your own greed against you when they scam you. They have no weapon against you so they stir up the greed that is present in all of us in order to get us to take the bait that they place in front of our eyes. If you are not ruled by greed, or if you can control your greed and be objective about the situation you will never be scammed.

The pimp makes his workers feel insecure and dependant on him. If they ever realize that they can become self serving they will no longer fall for his tricks. People who like to manipulate others usually do so by attacking weaknesses in their self esteem. Have you ever seen people who thought that they knew everything? Knowledge is power so if they can appear to be more intelligent they can use feelings of low self esteem against the people that they control. When you are knowledgeable and aware you can’t be intimidated by these people.

The first thing that we need to learn to do is to avoid negative triggers. For example avoid that person who knows how to make you feel bad. Whether you realize it or not that is their way of subjecting you to their will because they can successfully cause you to react to an emotion rather than to truth.

Avoid negative situations, and places. When I was young I hung out with the wrong crowds only because my self esteem was low and I wanted to be seen as a cool person. This did absolutely nothing to help me in life because I did not use those years wisely. I wasted so much of my valuable time with the wrong endeavors until I got so far behind in life I could never catch up.

Don’t dwell on bad situations. It is what it is so you just have to deal with it. Just thinking about the bad thing in your past won’t do a thing to make it any better. Dwelling on past issues is just a waste of time.

Learn to do the opposite of what the situation dictates if you have to. When a person, place, or thing makes you feel like crying do the opposite and laugh instead. When you feel small around others look them directly in the eyes as you address them. You don’t have to challenge them nonverbally just show confidence, even if you have to fake it until you get it right.

One very important thing which we all need to learn is to be inner directed. Don’t allow the actions of others to control the way that you think and act. You must take direct control for your own actions. Remember the person who seems to have it all together has just as many doubts as you. They are better at not showing them.

Last but not least of all you need to learn to take time to think before you react. There are many people in prison now because they didn’t do just this. Many careers have been ruined and so have lives. If we all took the time to think first before we give in to our emotions the world would be a much better place. Riceland Enterprises

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