Advice for long distance relationships

All relationships,even the best ones, have their problems. Even a happly married couple who have been together for a long time have their ups and downs. One of the trickiest type of relationships to have is a long distance one. Many relationships hit a rocky patch which tests it and may lead to it's demise, but long distance relationships have more problems than most even if the couple are blissfully in love, totally committed and very compatible. Advice for long distance relationships are sometimes needed to make sure that things remain happy and work out. As a professional agony aunt with a great deal of experience of selling advice to couples and single people about how to get relationships and how to make them work out here are my tips for long distance relationships, whether you are already in such a relationship or thinking of getting into one..

BEFORE getting in deep with this please stop and have a long hard look at whether or not this person is truly the one, if they are worth all of the problems and compromises that a long distance set up involves or are you simply going along with what they want and what suits them? If you have a lot of love and time to give to a partner and they have an extremely busy life where other things come first with them then perhaps it is better to finish it now before you end up feeling very side tracked and neglected.

Then remind yourself that when it is like this it is very difficult to truly get to know each other. People who see each other a lot can get to know each other totally and much quicker than people who meet up with each other. You will not find out their faults straight away, it may take a long time, you might want to idealise the whole idea of seeing them like this, as if it is a fairy tale, yet they are still just another human being and there are plenty of those out there that can give you a better commitment or more time. When you meet up for a few days now and then you can get caught up with the excitement of missing them and longing for them yet really it is still a stranger you are meeting up with. If your lover or partner is going to be very busy then please do not make the mistake of sitting on the sidelines waiting for them to fit you in. If they think they can decide to phone you sometime tomorrow then if you want to go out go out, do not hang around in case they ring or want to see you, do not be a doormat. Yes you have missed them and you long to see them but if they do not feel the same way it is too one sided and they are using you. Never ever give a total commitment to someone you have not seen a lot of and got to know properly and have not known for a long time.

If someone who works away wants you to get engaged and promise to be faithful to them till they return, maybe a soldier, unless you know for a fact you are both in love and they will really miss you and be faithful to you too say no, otherwise you will be doing all the worrying and waiting and they will be having all of the fun and if they know you are sitting around waiting they start to take you for granted and do not appreciate you anymore. They will work harder at being there for you and pleasing you if you are a person in your own right with a mind of your own and a life of your own.

The key to making a long distance relationship work is... making sure you are with someone who is worth it... making sure you are both equally involved and serious.. making sure you are compatible with each other and have the same goals for your relationship and the future.. making sure the relationship is a healthy part of your relationship so that you are focused on other things and happy when you are apart.

That concludes THIS article on advice for long distance relationships.

Charlotte Craig is at http://www.askagonyaunt.com. She is a famous agony aunt who has helped famous people and others for many years. She has been praised by journalists, experts and professionals, been asked to write for magazines and newspapers and appear on radio and television. She offers much free online advice plus private online and phone consultations.