Women are intricate beings. Not complicated – just intricate. A woman’s body is full of mysteries, and at times getting her aroused may seem like a journey to parts unknown.
But here’s the thing: the directions may change from week to week, or even day to day, so toss out your maps as they are unreliable. The feminine nature is one of change and fluidity - what sent her over the edge last week may even become an irritant this week.
Still ‘not complicated’ you say? Yes, not complicated. There’s a secret to female arousal and when that is recognized and accepted, the nature of the process is transformed.
SECRET: For women, it’s ALL about the journey.
Arousal Factors
Men are genitally aroused, women are generally aroused. Genital stimulation often brings men to full arousal. Women are more intricate. It is reported that an adult woman’s body is 10 times more sensitive to touch and pressure than a man’s, and therefore women are often more sensitive to the entire body’s potential for sensuous pleasure.
Typically a woman’s arousal is slower and requires an emotional component along with the increased physical stimulus. Visual or mental stimulus alone rarely work to arouse a woman and an unconscious comment can quickly shut her down.
Many women share that their partner’s put too much of their pleasuring energy on the genitals. Remember that women are multi-potential when it comes to receiving pleasure, so take the time to discover new erogenous zones and stimulate multiple body areas before moving to the genitals. As a general guideline, consider pleasuring her entire body for two-thirds of the time and her genitals for one-third.
A woman’s sex drive is often significantly affected by the events in her life. A difficult week at work can drastically diminish her sex drive; whereas under similar circumstances, a man may consider sex as a much desired sleeping pill. Women need more mood-setting, more foreplay and more time to reach orgasm, though they are more likely to have many orgasms, and they can ejaculate, too.
Learn your partner’s unique secrets. Which of her nipples is more easily aroused? How do her earlobes like to be stimulated? Remembering your partner’s secrets shows presence and honoring – important factors for the development of a heart-connection with most women.
Women whose bodies have been the object of criticisms often have difficulty moving past their perceived imperfections into full acceptance and ultimate pleasure. If you are truly able to love and accept her just as she is, tell her and show her. Just as most men perceive their penis to be imperfect, most women perceive their breasts to be too small, too droopy, and their butts and thighs to be too big, too jiggly.
Timing
What worked great last week may not have the same explosive effect this week. Be aware of your partner’s sensitivities regarding her menstrual cycle, or her pre-, peri- or post-menopausal condition. Are her breasts and nipples too tender to have them touched just before her period? Is she more easily aroused during her period, with a slower arousal just after her period? Does she feel her strongest urge for sex during ovulation? A woman’s hormone fluctuations or imbalances can have a powerful effect on her sexuality, and she usually has little or no control over them.
Consider this: A woman’s variety of reactions and sensitivities helps you to remain creative, patient and present. A journey to be savored, for sure!
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