Sex positions

In the dance of lovemaking, each movement from you creates a response from your partner and the dance begins. The heart and soul connection between the partners fuels the blissful dance, and the position is the supporting choreography.

Positions may be peaceful for soft arousal, while others suggest and support high arousal and strong thrusting. Many yoga postures lend themselves to lovemaking as well.

As you relax and surrender to your body intelligence, the positions will naturally flow. Be in tune to the moment, rather than trying to follow a set routine.

Here’s a very popular position called ‘Riding High’ or ‘C.A.T.’ – coital alignment technique:

Many sex positions do not stimulate the clitoris very effectively – meaning to the degree needed for a woman to reach orgasm. Well, the coital alignment technique does - hence its popularity!

Here’s the scoop - The man slides two to four inches forward from the typical missionary position and rather than resting on his elbows, his arms cup the woman’s shoulders so that his body falls flat against hers. Both spines should be straight and the base of the penis will naturally rub the clitoris. Now do some genital soft rocking. The woman’s legs are straight out and touching her partner’s while she pushes her pelvis upward about two inches. He pushes down gently to give a slight counter-resistance. The movement is all up-and-down rocking, rather than in-and-out thrusting.

Love, Lust and Friendship

Carl Reiner stated, “Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.”

What is the difference between lust and love, between loving and liking?

Love involves being as concerns for someone else’s welfare as you are for your own. Love allows us to care for, serve and sacrifice for each other. O. Henry’s short story, The Gift of the Magi, exemplifies the selfless nature of love. In this story a young couple desperately want to give each other meaningful Christmas gifts. Because they have no money to purchase gifts they each choose to sacrifice their most valuable possession to buy a special gift for the other. Ironically Della sells her gorgeous long hair to buy a platinum chain for Jim’s watch, while Jim sells his watch to buy jeweled combs for Della’s hair. Their willingness to sacrifice their most treasured possession for each other represents the strength of their love.

Lust, on the other hand, is more self-centered. It is focused on fulfilling one’s physical urges and desires. Lust can be mistaken for love; it feels extremely intense, almost obsessive. Lust means putting one’s desires ahead of the other’s person’s best interests. There is no concern for the cost of one’s actions. Lust involves an all consuming; let the consequences be damned kind of attitude. Lust is easy, since it does not involve the day-to-day realities that love does. Lust is what makes an affair so intoxicating; reality does not have to interfere with the illusion of perfection.

Love encompasses passion, where lust is simply the empty shell of passion. Love can be passionate and intense, but it is also kind, patient and accepting. Love means dealing with reality and struggle and coming out closer. Lust means dealing with illusions of what is and what could be if only reality did not interfere.

The difference between liking and loving is the difference between friendship and romance. One the reasons that like is most important is that it is your friendship that can carry you through the tough times when you may start to doubt your love.

If you want your love to last then one of the most important things that you can do is to like each other. When we like people, we accept them as they are. One of the greatest dangers to a loving relationship is to be continually unhappy with and trying to change one’s partner.

In counseling we frequently hear statements that loosely translate to I love my partner but I cannot stand to live with him or her. “Like is most important,” because unless we like someone as well as love them, there is always that danger that love will fade.

I tend to agree with Reiner, that Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. Lust is easy, because it simply involves allowing your physical desires and urges to run their course. It may be easy, but it is not fulfilling, since lusting leads to more lusting. Love is hard, because it involves giving of oneself and at times giving up some of what I want for we or us. Love is hard, but is fulfilling. And like is most important, because like is what holds it all together. Like means choosing to be happy with each other.

How To Stop Being Hurt By Other People

There is a saying, look to yourself for the cause and solution to all your problems. This is a very interesting saying because it has many meanings.

The first is the obvious, to see what you have done wrong to cause the problem. This is easy to apply, see what you did and accept responsibility then correct your mistake.

Next we have another view which is to see how you are getting more upset or angry than the situation deserves and that negative emotion is causing you many problems that are mainly in your imagination and needless. You may be holding on to an event that has long since past and become irrelevant, but you keep the anger alive in your own mind. Accept it is done and gone, then release it and you will be fine.

But now I would like to present a third interpretation of my own which I discovered based on the following thought. If you wish to understand a species, you must study one or more of the individuals of the species, This is how all scientific discoveries about nature and animals has been documented. In this way I apply the saying as a way to solve all our emotional problems that have to do with other people. There is very little in our life that does not have another person involved so really this can apply to anyone.

When we get hurt by the actions of another person, we must examine the reasons for their actions in order to resolve our pain. We search for the answer to 'How could someone do that?' so we can let go of the pain. The pain really comes more from the confusion and frustration of this question rather than the actual event. Remember that the real reason may not be the obvious or surface reason. Animals kill each other because they are hungry, it is not because they like to kill. Nature makes us hungry and we have no choice but to serve that master. Find the real cause behind all events rather than just what it looks like.

Resolving the riddle of how a person can act in such a harsh way, not keep their promise, break the trust, etc. will allow our pain to heal. And here I would like to present the method to do this.

We will use the scientific method, study the species to understand the reason and cause for an individual’s actions. I can tell you now that the solution to healing your pain is in understanding the true reasons for a persons actions. Now let us find those reasons.

We begin with accepting reality rather than defend and believe in lies and delusion. But first we must define reality and lies.

1 The reality about humans; They are unreliable, fragmented, self-centered, etc. You know what people are like, I do not need to detail the list.

2 You are a human and subject to doing the same things as all other humans. By studying yourself you can understand the species.

3 People will not look at themselves honestly and in detail. We all lie to ourselves and ignore the facts of our own actions. By so doing we will never see the truth of people because we are living in denial about the reality of what we ourselves are. If we accept that all people are a certain way, then we would also have to accept ourselves as being that way. Since the truth is so ugly, people prefer to live in denial of their own true nature and thus are faced with perpetual confusion about other people’s actions. This is explained in my book, All Is Mind under the topics of Fragmentation and Buffers, which topics I will briefly explain now.

Fragmentation is the principle that you are not one unified whole being. You are in fact thousands of little fragments of yourself, each almost identical to each other but with some little unique difference. An example is when you cannot make a simple decision; should I wear the red shirt or the blue one. Such a simple choice, but you cannot decide. This is a moment of two fragments fighting, one who likes red and the other who likes blue. You can imagine how much fragmentation effects your life.

Let’s extrapolate this to every promise anyone makes. One fragment promises and then another fragment takes control of your consciousness later on and has no interest in keeping the promise, but desires something else. It is after all, a different person, even if it came from the same source. Not many siblings of the same parents, brought up in the same house have totally identical desires and feelings. This is how promises are broken or forgotten, one fragment to another.

Add to that the changes we go through in desires and aversions as we age from a toddler to elderly. Nothing stays the same, including some things we like or dislike. Since fragments come from the same source, meaning they are all fragments of the same person, they will share many likes throughout your lifespan, but there will always be slight differences and changes over time. This is self evident with a simple observation and the reason it is so hard to see fragments but rather think yourself whole.

Buffers are those cushions or ‘cloak of invisibility’ which help you hide your true feelings and actions from yourself. If you think you are a very prompt person but in fact you are always late, you will find a new excuse each time. The traffic was terrible, there was an accident, my watch must have stopped for a while even though it is running now, I had to read that web site even though it was irrelevant, the floor had to be swept, etc. There is no end to the excuses that you will use to justify your repetitive lateness to avoid seeing the truth that you are in fact not reliable when you desire to believe you are.

Because of fragmentation, and buffers which prevent us from seeing that we are fragmented, we cannot correct the problem within our self, nor will we be able to study our self to understand the human species, without effort or help at least.

Self observation with total objective clarity is the way to understand why a human will do the things they do which we consider totally unacceptable. When you can see yourself for what you really are, you will be able to change yourself. You will also cease to be shocked and hurt by the actions of others since you will understand that they do not have any power to act otherwise. This is why I never ask anyone to make a promise, I know it is impossible for a human to keep a promise long term. This way, I never get hurt or disappointed.

You may not like this and insist that it is not correct or should not be that way. It may be true that this is not a good system, but it is how it is. Our emotional pain comes from rejecting and denying reality. It is not the thing that happened which keeps the pain alive, it is the rejection of the reality that this is actually something humans cannot help. Study yourself and then you will see what we are. If you can accept what you are, then you will accept and understand others. We are all the same, it is just a matter of degree.

Delusion is thinking that a human can keep a promise. That is not possible and you know it. Certainly we can keep some promises but rarely the ones that project long into the future. Too many things change in the world, our life and the things we deal with. As I mentioned above, we age. As that happens, our thoughts, desires and feelings change as well. We all change. That is reality, and with that change, what we were so sincere and certain about that we promised to do forever has also changed. This is simply the process of nature in an ever changing world and universe.

When we accept reality, we can have trust and yet not feel hurt or disappointed when the trust is broken. It is our own fault for projecting the capacity of consistency on a totally unreliable creature. Look to yourself for the cause and solution to your problem. You lied to yourself and believed that lie, now the truth has come out. The pain is not that a person broke the trust, but that you are faced with believing a lie you lied to your self. You wanted to believe people can keep a promise yet you knew it is not possible to guarantee that.

Objective study of humanity, beginning with honest study of oneself brings freedom through truth. But of course we close our eyes and expect everyone to be honest and reliable and keep their promises, so we blind ourself to the truck coming straight at us and get run over.

I believe we can truly and freely love and be in a successful relationship only when we accept the reality of our own self and our own weaknesses and thus those of others. You cannot buy a 20 year old Russian Lada and expect it to run like a new Rolls Royce. But that is exactly what we do with ourselves and other people, we expect total reliability from a very unreliable vehicle, and when it breaks down we curse and wonder how could this happened because it should not! By the way, even Rolls Royce breaks down.

The truth is not pleasant or pretty but accepting it without imagining it could or should be different gives a state of mind that is peaceful yet not closed, and ready to move forward with life as it is where you are.

Funny enough, this method is not going to make you cold or closed, rather it is in trying to believe a lie that keeps your heart closed. There is a wise part of us, one we rarely use, which knows the truth and does not fall for the lie. That part wants to protect us, but we fight it and insist that we know better. Subconsciously, our heart is kept slightly closed all the time, as that wiser part of our being tries to keep at least a little protection from the inevitable.

On the other hand, by fully accepting the truth of humans, and the lack of ability to be completely reliable, our heart opens because we accept our self and others as we are. There is no more lie to hide from, no more false expectations and if the trust is broken, we will not be as badly hurt.

The third benefit is that if we do truly accept ourself and others, all the grasping and clinging attachment that usually pushes a person away will not be required. We can finally love and live in a relaxed honest relationship.

The result will be that promises will be kept simply because there is no pressure and we will not be forced to jump fragments by needing buffers to avoid our past actions. If you can be so accepting of reality, the energy will be calm and accepting and only then can your heart open to love and be loved, fully.

Self study requires using a part of our being which is more than just human, our higher consciousness awakens to study our lower ego. By using that part of our being, we become more aware of our self. When we know how we function, seeing our fragmentation and to the best of our ability to see the buffers and self lying justifications, we can find freedom in the reality of what we can expect to happen. It could be said simply as this; 'Play by the rules and you will enjoy the game. Ignore the rules and you get penalized and have to sit it out watching everyone else play and have a good time.'

When you see the truth about yourself, how you do not, and in fact probably could not, do what you have expected from another person, then you cannot be hurt when they themselves do it. There are many good old sayings which if we actually put in some effort to understand, would change our life.

I regard children's fables as highly as ancient texts in this case, since they sometimes both carry equal value. I will end with two great sayings.

'Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you.' and;

'Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.'

And just for those of you who are really good at hiding from the truth, painting a glass house with black paint or with master artistry to make it look like bricks, will not change it from being glass.

David Samuel is The Entrepreneur Monk, a rag to riches story making his 1st million at 25 based on understanding the mind and emotions.
Your mind makes you a success or failure, business skill is only a small part.
Retiring at 29, he travelled for many years.
David resolved the riddle of why we do what is bad for us yet do not do what we know is beneficial and teaches that very effectively.
Read more about David EntrepreneurMonk.com

Keys to Reconciliation

The first thing that you must do is to divorce your mind of all hostility. Hostility in your mind will come through in your conversation, attitude, and demeanor even if you try to hide it. The best way to handle this is to just divorce your mind of all negative thoughts about the person that you want to reconcile with, even if you feel that they are justified. Find good qualities in that person and focus on them. If it takes you a while to clear your mind then take all of the time that you need. We all have good and bad points. Just remember that you have your bad points also.

The person whom you are attempting to reconcile with may have negative thoughts and emotions for quite a while. You need to learn to expect this and work around it. You will have to be patient and understanding. Your patience will quench the fire of their anger over a period of time. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. This is not the issue in reconciliation and it would be a mistake to focus on this. You may want to eventually broach the situation by making a statement like: Tell me what I need to do or change for you and I will try to do it. Now if the response that you get is unreasonable you may want to let the subject drop and broach it again at a later date. Don’t even ask this question if you are not totally committed to reconciling. After you friend or mate has let you know you can pick up the ball and ask them if they would be willing to change for you. You must have demonstrated your commitment by working hard on the relationship during the time lapse between your initial attempts to make it right and the present.

This is the time that you will truly find out if your friend sees the relationship as important. Any person who is serious will begin to work with you at this point in time. Allow the person some space in making their decision and don’t push to get your way.

A permanent reconciliation requires a permanent change. Remember that there are still triggers which remain which caused the problem in the first place. You must learn to identify them and neutralize them. For example, if the problem was that one of you was not fiscally responsible then that is the problem which needs to be avoided. The mechanism which you use to do this should be known and agreed upon by both parties.

Don’t be afraid to admit your shortcomings. Nine times out of ten this is the biggest roadblock to reconciliation. We must admit our problems before they can be dealt with. If we are not willing to face up to the facts we will never be able to solve our relationship problems. You can’t change if you won’t admit that you need to change. Neither will your friend.

Every bad situation has a trigger. When you feel that you are being pushed towards that point you must recognize the trigger and choose to overcome it. That may mean choosing not to become angry, upset, or depressed. The battle is in your mind. Riceland Enterprises

Cedric Rice is the founder of Riceland Enterprises, which is composed of several different business ventures. This company is currently located in Georgia.
Riceland Enterprisesof several web sites that Mr. Rice owns and operates which is oriented towards consumers along with Military Ring Express, and Fragrance Oil Express

How To Stop Being Hurt By Other People

There is a saying, look to yourself for the cause and solution to all your problems. This is a very interesting saying because it has many meanings.

The first is the obvious, to see what you have done wrong to cause the problem. This is easy to apply, see what you did and accept responsibility then correct your mistake.

Next we have another view which is to see how you are getting more upset or angry than the situation deserves and that negative emotion is causing you many problems that are mainly in your imagination and needless. You may be holding on to an event that has long since past and become irrelevant, but you keep the anger alive in your own mind. Accept it is done and gone, then release it and you will be fine.

But now I would like to present a third interpretation of my own which I discovered based on the following thought. If you wish to understand a species, you must study one or more of the individuals of the species, This is how all scientific discoveries about nature and animals has been documented. In this way I apply the saying as a way to solve all our emotional problems that have to do with other people. There is very little in our life that does not have another person involved so really this can apply to anyone.

When we get hurt by the actions of another person, we must examine the reasons for their actions in order to resolve our pain. We search for the answer to 'How could someone do that?' so we can let go of the pain. The pain really comes more from the confusion and frustration of this question rather than the actual event. Remember that the real reason may not be the obvious or surface reason. Animals kill each other because they are hungry, it is not because they like to kill. Nature makes us hungry and we have no choice but to serve that master. Find the real cause behind all events rather than just what it looks like.

Resolving the riddle of how a person can act in such a harsh way, not keep their promise, break the trust, etc. will allow our pain to heal. And here I would like to present the method to do this.

We will use the scientific method, study the species to understand the reason and cause for an individual’s actions. I can tell you now that the solution to healing your pain is in understanding the true reasons for a persons actions. Now let us find those reasons.

We begin with accepting reality rather than defend and believe in lies and delusion. But first we must define reality and lies.

1 The reality about humans; They are unreliable, fragmented, self-centered, etc. You know what people are like, I do not need to detail the list.

2 You are a human and subject to doing the same things as all other humans. By studying yourself you can understand the species.

3 People will not look at themselves honestly and in detail. We all lie to ourselves and ignore the facts of our own actions. By so doing we will never see the truth of people because we are living in denial about the reality of what we ourselves are. If we accept that all people are a certain way, then we would also have to accept ourselves as being that way. Since the truth is so ugly, people prefer to live in denial of their own true nature and thus are faced with perpetual confusion about other people’s actions. This is explained in my book, All Is Mind under the topics of Fragmentation and Buffers, which topics I will briefly explain now.

Fragmentation is the principle that you are not one unified whole being. You are in fact thousands of little fragments of yourself, each almost identical to each other but with some little unique difference. An example is when you cannot make a simple decision; should I wear the red shirt or the blue one. Such a simple choice, but you cannot decide. This is a moment of two fragments fighting, one who likes red and the other who likes blue. You can imagine how much fragmentation effects your life.

Let’s extrapolate this to every promise anyone makes. One fragment promises and then another fragment takes control of your consciousness later on and has no interest in keeping the promise, but desires something else. It is after all, a different person, even if it came from the same source. Not many siblings of the same parents, brought up in the same house have totally identical desires and feelings. This is how promises are broken or forgotten, one fragment to another.

Add to that the changes we go through in desires and aversions as we age from a toddler to elderly. Nothing stays the same, including some things we like or dislike. Since fragments come from the same source, meaning they are all fragments of the same person, they will share many likes throughout your lifespan, but there will always be slight differences and changes over time. This is self evident with a simple observation and the reason it is so hard to see fragments but rather think yourself whole.

Buffers are those cushions or ‘cloak of invisibility’ which help you hide your true feelings and actions from yourself. If you think you are a very prompt person but in fact you are always late, you will find a new excuse each time. The traffic was terrible, there was an accident, my watch must have stopped for a while even though it is running now, I had to read that web site even though it was irrelevant, the floor had to be swept, etc. There is no end to the excuses that you will use to justify your repetitive lateness to avoid seeing the truth that you are in fact not reliable when you desire to believe you are.

Because of fragmentation, and buffers which prevent us from seeing that we are fragmented, we cannot correct the problem within our self, nor will we be able to study our self to understand the human species, without effort or help at least.

Self observation with total objective clarity is the way to understand why a human will do the things they do which we consider totally unacceptable. When you can see yourself for what you really are, you will be able to change yourself. You will also cease to be shocked and hurt by the actions of others since you will understand that they do not have any power to act otherwise. This is why I never ask anyone to make a promise, I know it is impossible for a human to keep a promise long term. This way, I never get hurt or disappointed.

You may not like this and insist that it is not correct or should not be that way. It may be true that this is not a good system, but it is how it is. Our emotional pain comes from rejecting and denying reality. It is not the thing that happened which keeps the pain alive, it is the rejection of the reality that this is actually something humans cannot help. Study yourself and then you will see what we are. If you can accept what you are, then you will accept and understand others. We are all the same, it is just a matter of degree.

Delusion is thinking that a human can keep a promise. That is not possible and you know it. Certainly we can keep some promises but rarely the ones that project long into the future. Too many things change in the world, our life and the things we deal with. As I mentioned above, we age. As that happens, our thoughts, desires and feelings change as well. We all change. That is reality, and with that change, what we were so sincere and certain about that we promised to do forever has also changed. This is simply the process of nature in an ever changing world and universe.

When we accept reality, we can have trust and yet not feel hurt or disappointed when the trust is broken. It is our own fault for projecting the capacity of consistency on a totally unreliable creature. Look to yourself for the cause and solution to your problem. You lied to yourself and believed that lie, now the truth has come out. The pain is not that a person broke the trust, but that you are faced with believing a lie you lied to your self. You wanted to believe people can keep a promise yet you knew it is not possible to guarantee that.

Objective study of humanity, beginning with honest study of oneself brings freedom through truth. But of course we close our eyes and expect everyone to be honest and reliable and keep their promises, so we blind ourself to the truck coming straight at us and get run over.

I believe we can truly and freely love and be in a successful relationship only when we accept the reality of our own self and our own weaknesses and thus those of others. You cannot buy a 20 year old Russian Lada and expect it to run like a new Rolls Royce. But that is exactly what we do with ourselves and other people, we expect total reliability from a very unreliable vehicle, and when it breaks down we curse and wonder how could this happened because it should not! By the way, even Rolls Royce breaks down.

The truth is not pleasant or pretty but accepting it without imagining it could or should be different gives a state of mind that is peaceful yet not closed, and ready to move forward with life as it is where you are.

Funny enough, this method is not going to make you cold or closed, rather it is in trying to believe a lie that keeps your heart closed. There is a wise part of us, one we rarely use, which knows the truth and does not fall for the lie. That part wants to protect us, but we fight it and insist that we know better. Subconsciously, our heart is kept slightly closed all the time, as that wiser part of our being tries to keep at least a little protection from the inevitable.

On the other hand, by fully accepting the truth of humans, and the lack of ability to be completely reliable, our heart opens because we accept our self and others as we are. There is no more lie to hide from, no more false expectations and if the trust is broken, we will not be as badly hurt.

The third benefit is that if we do truly accept ourself and others, all the grasping and clinging attachment that usually pushes a person away will not be required. We can finally love and live in a relaxed honest relationship.

The result will be that promises will be kept simply because there is no pressure and we will not be forced to jump fragments by needing buffers to avoid our past actions. If you can be so accepting of reality, the energy will be calm and accepting and only then can your heart open to love and be loved, fully.

Self study requires using a part of our being which is more than just human, our higher consciousness awakens to study our lower ego. By using that part of our being, we become more aware of our self. When we know how we function, seeing our fragmentation and to the best of our ability to see the buffers and self lying justifications, we can find freedom in the reality of what we can expect to happen. It could be said simply as this; 'Play by the rules and you will enjoy the game. Ignore the rules and you get penalized and have to sit it out watching everyone else play and have a good time.'

When you see the truth about yourself, how you do not, and in fact probably could not, do what you have expected from another person, then you cannot be hurt when they themselves do it. There are many good old sayings which if we actually put in some effort to understand, would change our life.

I regard children's fables as highly as ancient texts in this case, since they sometimes both carry equal value. I will end with two great sayings.

'Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you.' and;

'Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.'

And just for those of you who are really good at hiding from the truth, painting a glass house with black paint or with master artistry to make it look like bricks, will not change it from being glass.

David Samuel is The Entrepreneur Monk, a rag to riches story making his 1st million at 25 based on understanding the mind and emotions.
Your mind makes you a success or failure, business skill is only a small part.
Retiring at 29, he travelled for many years.
David resolved the riddle of why we do what is bad for us yet do not do what we know is beneficial and teaches that very effectively.
Read more about David EntrepreneurMonk.com

How to trust your partner?

Do you trust your partner? How to deal with trust issues in a relationship? How to trust your partner?

Lack of trust or what some call doubt is a mental illness that affects many relationships negatively. Lack of trust is a huge problem that can ruin the relationship. Lack of trust could lead you to start checking your loved ones mobile, purses, cars, clothes, watching them, and stalking them among other things.

As I stated in my book “How to win your lover’s heart” lack of trust makes you live in fear, worry, and distress. It also could lead you to depression among other mental problems. If you suffer from this illness, which is called lack of trust, then you need to learn how to overcome it, otherwise, it will ruin your relationship with your partner.

If your goal is to learn how to build trust in a relationship, follow the below steps:

1. When you begin to doubt your partner, stop right away and switch the thought to a positive one. Stopping the thought as soon as it starts is one of the most effective ways you can do to overcome lack of trust in a relationship.

2. If you have witnessed something that makes you doubt your partner, then talk to your partner about it in a calm way. Communication is the key.

3. If you have seen your parents deal with a lack of trust issue, then it is better to start working on healing yourself, work with a counselor or a life coach. Research shows that many people who lack trust in their relationship do so because they learned to doubt their partners from seeing their parents not trusting each other. Therefore, to build trust in a relationship, you need to start healing yourself and changing your mental habits.

4. Learn to be sincere and truthful. If you have a lack of trust problem now and you have lost the trust from your partner, then don’t worry. You can regain the trust from your partner in a few months if you are willing to overcome your lack of trust issues and doubts, you just have to be sincere and truthful.

5. Learn visualization as it is one of the best ways to relax you and will help you get rid of lack of trust issues. When you are relaxed, you can start to visualize yourself that you and your partner trust each other, understand each other, and love each other. Remember, visualization helps you to program your subconscious mind with what you want to achieve.

6. To build trust in a relationship, you have to build your self confidence. Many people’s lack of trust issues stem for lack of confidence. For example, Jennifer mentions that every time her partner, John talks to a woman, she gets jealous and starts having some doubts. She starts asking questions such as “Does he love me?” “Does he find me attractive?” “Why is he talking to her?” “Why is he late?”

If Jennifer is confident in herself, she would know that her partner John is loyal to her and that he loves her and finds her attractive. She wouldn’t be sensitive to every move that her partner makes. She wouldn’t think negative thoughts as the above questions usually stem for lack of confidence.

Always remember the famous proverb by Lao Tzu, “He who does not trust enough, will not be trusted.”


Dia Thabet http://www.2achieveyourgoals.com

Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away. How to win your lover’s heart was released by 2achieveyourgoals.com to help you win and capture your lover’s heart and avoid breakups.

We Must First Love Ourselves

Experiencing change helps us to engage and see where and how we have been living our lives. We face so many challenges and the ones that hurt the most are those which affect us personally.

Relationship hurt affects us all differently! Some people can recover quickly and move on to the next stage in their life, while others are emotionally overwhelmed and will choose to stay in that particular place. They will continue to question and torture themselves as to why and how, this has happened. They’ll go over in their head every single thing that has ever been said to them during the relationship (eg . how much I was loved or I never thought in my wildest dream that something like this would happen to us).

Whilst searching for the answer, they would need to look deep within themselves to resolves their thoughts. Emotions are a thing that gets the better of us, and it is how we as individuals choose to deal with the situation at hand in order to heal and move forward with our lives.

Speaking to different sources over a period of time, I notice that when emotions are heightened, it creates fear, self doubt, low self esteem and more importantly rejection of not being loved. During my session with a number of clients, I have noticed a significant increase of young women who are so desperately longing to be loved. And my advice each and every time is LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND FOREMOST and by doing that; it will be reciprocated back to you. Some find it hard to comprehend, because they shut themselves down and refuse to take on board the advice given to them.

During my research, I have found that a significant number of people hold onto the past, to remind them of the pain and loveless situation they have been in for a number of years. In the face of adversity, they continue to carry the excess baggage from the previous relationship around with them. Trust becomes an issue and the heart is closed not allowing anyone in because of fear. If someone should come into their lives, they may end up blowing hot and cold, distancing themselves and sometimes even going into their shell). During this time the other person may feel rejection and perhaps thoughts of walking away, because of the uncertainty and not knowing where they stand. It may even end up in situation where they end up losing the person who cared and understood the very nature of what they are going through. In order to attract and keep the right relationship, we must look at healing the past and leaving it where it is in order to move forward with life.

Again from my research, I have noticed some clients found it easier to seek help from mediums/psychics or friends to make the decision for them, in as much as how to move forward with their lives. They come back time and time again asking the same questions, looking for that someone outside of themselves to provide them with the answers. You listen to their heartfelt plea, and the ONE thing that clear is that they are waiting to be rescued by the knight in shining armour. This knight in shining armour they believe will be the answer to their prayers and desires. Unfortunately this is not a Hollywood movie , not everyone will be swept off their feet by this elusive knight.

My advice is to try and empower the client, to ask them take back the control. They must first start to look at the very reason how they got themselves into this situation, and believe that they can become better individuals by changing their thought patterns. The universe has a tendency to give back what we give out. It may take time and for some therapy to change attitudes, all depending on the severity of the problem.

It’s important that love does not become overwhelming, as this can push the other person away. Some may even use this vulnerability to their own advantage by playing with the person’s emotion which can have a detrimental effect on their emotional stability

It takes a strong individual to admit that they have a problem and want to get the help that is needed to move forward with their life. This seems to be a common problem in our society, where people are constantly looking for answers externally and neglect the very place they are likely to find them - inside themselves. This delving could ultimately lead to self-love surely a prerequisite to loving another?

Beatrice Elder is a popular Psychic Medium Clairvoyant, Life and Soul Coach, Tarot Card Reader and Stage 2 Reiki Healer. Beatrice features on Psychic Interactive TV.

Beatrice is the founder of Soul Journeying (www.souljourneying.co.uk) and uses her blog (www.blog.souljourneying.co.uk) to discuss a number of issues that affect individuals. Please subscribe to the blog if this article & others written by Beatrice Elder interest you.

How to Keep Your Man Interested in the Relationship

Do you find it hard to keep the relationship with your man and afraid that you are losing the connection with him? Keeping a relationship is hard but if you really love your man, it is important to put an effort to find out what do men want and how to keep your man interested.

Love him. Of course one sure way to keep your man interested is to love him. Let him know that you love him by your words and actions. Make him feel loved but do not over do it. You may scare him away if you appear too needy. Love him and let him love you too in return. Do not tell him what to do and do not expect too much. Men want to feel loved and want the freedom to express the love he has for you.

Give your man some air to breathe. Although you want to know everything about you man or you want to tag along with him all the time, be reasonable and give him his space. While staying in a relationship, they need some freedom from time to time to do the things they want to do, of course, without putting your relationship in trouble. You do not want to suffocate him and to get tired of you. This way you can keep your man interested in the relationship.


Do not annoy him or check on him all the time. He needs your trust letting him to do what he wants and need to do. Calling him all the time at work or monitoring his every move will make him feel bad. Like you, he is a grown human being that needs respect. He also needs privacy once in a while. You cannot keep your man interested just by stalking him or calling him all the time.

Do your own thing. While it is important that couples do things together, there are situations that you have to do things on your own. Do not expect that he will accompany you in everything that you want to do. You can ask him but you cannot force him to be with you all the time. There are things that women enjoy but men don´t and you have to respect that if you want to keep your man interested in you.

Although you are both in a relationship, you are two individuals who need respect. Respect him as the way you want to be respected.

Do you want to learn how to keep your man interested and by your side forever? Visit Win A Love Back

To know more about relationships visit The Best Love Guide

Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including How to Keep Your Man Interested in the Relationship. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.

Dealing with a break up

Dealing with a break up could be hard when you love the other person by heart. People get very poignant after breakup and can not pay attention to their daily life activities which creates a lot of problems for them. However, you have to deal with it in order to have a good future life. You should know how to stay alone or how to be single when someone dumps you. By dealing with break up, you will be able to learn how to do well in your routine activities without other person.

If you would search on how to deal with a break up then you would find plenty of e-books on the Internet. You can buy a couple of them for getting some information for coping with break up. These e-books would help you to divert your attention and you would feel better. If your love partner dumped you then do not worry too much because you are not the only one with whom this has happened. Many people get to this sort of situation because often one of the love partners deceives other and they get depart. You are not supposed to worry about someone who was not fair with you. Believe me that this kind of person does not deserve your love.

Dealing with a break up requires some effort because you have lost a person not any other possession. You should try to avoid thinking about your ex. Whenever his thoughts come in your mind, you should try to deflect your thoughts. If you would keep thinking about the other person then you would never be able to forget him which would be a big hurdle in making a good new relationship. You should make a relationship after break up because your ex would also do the same. So, do not waste your life and time for someone who does not belong to you anymore.

Moreover, if you want to deal with a break up then you should go to social parties. You should meet people and have some fun. You can get together with your friends. If you would accept social invitations then there is a probability that in the party you meet someone who is very loving and caring. You would only be able to do well in new relationship when you would forget your previous bad experiences. So, always be positive for having a pleasant life.
Author's Bio

The author John Hill. has been writing on making people able to deal with break up in their life. If you need assistance on this then you may visit his websites dealing with a break up and moving on after a break up.

Tips on How to Deal With a Break Up and Bring Back Love into Your Life

People experience heartbreaks. This is something that we do not want. However, it is inevitable. Someone who we really love could hurt us and leave us. Being heartbroken is a difficult phase. This is why if you have just broken up with a girlfriend or a boyfriend, it is best to know how to deal with a break up and to forget your ex.

Forgetting your ex may take some time. It can also be difficult. However, it is best to keep in mind that you can learn how to deal with a break up and overcome this. You need to recover as soon as possible. There are so many things in life that you have to discover. You cannot waste your days on sulking and despairing. Here are some tips on how to deal with a break up.

1. Pour Your Heart Out. This is one way to deal with a break up. Take out all the pains that you feel. Pour out all the burdens that you carry because of the pain caused by your ex. Say everything that you can blurt out like how much you miss your ex to the bad things that you will not miss. It is possible for you to keep droning on these matters. Your friends and relatives may get tired. Still, this is an effective way to deal with a break up so you will not harbor the feelings inside.

2. Spend Time With Friends. It is very important that you call on your friends and relatives to spend time with you. They can help in cheering you up. Their company will definitely assure you that you are not alone. Remember, trying to know how to forget your ex is not that easy. Some can be very vulnerable. They are in the risk of doing something bad. Thus, being in the company of your love ones will help in keeping you stay grounded and will help you deal with a break up.

3. Indulge But Not Too Much. Eating your comfort foods will help ease out the bad feeling and help you deal with a break up. Movies show that girls who have gone through breakups eat their favorite foods like chocolate, cake or ice cream. The food can help numb your mind over the pain. Activating your taste buds can minimize the pain in your heart. This is one way of making your self feel good. Just do not undermine your health.

4. Find a New Hobby. One way that you can learn on how deal with a break up and to forget your ex is to explore a new pastime. Develop a skill or discover a productive activity. For example, playing a new sport can help you develop your physical condition. This is something that you can spend with your friends. Exhausting your body to the sport will help you deal with a break up. It can even make your body more beautiful. This will make your ex regret for having even broken up with you.

5. Find a New Love. Sometimes, people resort to seeking a rebound relationship. This is like having a new boyfriend or girlfriend after the breakup. However, this is not a good choice. You may only end up hurting the other person. This can be very unfair. If you find a new love, be sure it is because you harbor care and affection for the person. Do not use this as an escape or a way to deal with a break up. Just welcome the possibility if ever it comes along.

Finding ways on how to deal with a break up and forget your ex is possible. This is something that you can achieve to get over the bad breakup and move on. This way you will not waste time sulking around. Be the better person that your ex could never become.

In the case that you still want to patch things up and you really want to get back with your ex. There are still ways to get back with your ex. Do you want to discover how you can easily bring back the love of your life? You can bring back your love. No matter how stubborn the resistance, no matter how far this person may be from you, no matter how hopeless or difficult your situation appears.

Author's Bio
Discover a potent 4-step strategy which works visit Bring Back Lost Love. To know more about dating, love and wedding visit Love, Dating and Weddings . Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including Tips on How to Deal With a Break Up and Bring Back Love into Your Life. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.

How to Make a Man Miss You - by Nicole Gayle

When we are talking about making a man miss you, we're not simply talking about responding with behaviors that he may react to. Making a man miss you goes much deeper and as you read further, you will understand how to find and sustain the mental attitude that will make a man feel as though he is experiencing the actions of a woman who has an expansive mind.

When asked, many women will give behaviors as signs that works to activate a man's mental switch. But as you may have experienced yourself, a man may respond to these signals on a surface level but it doesn't necessarily mean that he will be activated to want to go deeper with you.

So what is it that separate the men who'll want to go deeper versus, the one who may just stay at the surface?

Looking deeper, we'll find that a man goes deeper in his feelings of attraction for a woman when the said woman goes deeper inside herself.

In other words, a man will want to scale the intrigue of the loss of your presence when you are making a conscious decision to dig deep within your soul and exude the kind of life-giving forces that are found inside.

When you go on this journey, a man will feel that there is something that is more active within your interaction and therefore miss you or want to spend more time in your presence.

You can begin right away to activate this inside switch by starting to look at one characteristic that men find appealing - authentic detachment.

In order for you to understand the opposite of this, you can think about the last time you responded to a man and humiliated yourself or he just ignored your pleas for attention.

This feeling of humiliation was born from your inner beliefs about love - lack or scarcity as if there is not enough to go around. Since there is no humiliation in real love, it must mean that you need to to cultivate a deeper authentic self love inside.

A man will not miss you if the forms of fear or anger are present in your thoughts. These will finally show themselves in your actions like anxiety, panic and worry, or manipulation.

Even if you are trying to be brave and act independent, there will be a wall there since his attraction will not be able to break through the walls of fear.

To make a man miss you, you begin to dwell upon characteristics that create energy. Energy has power and power will be released in your interactions.

Practise this today:

1. Dwell, meditate upon an experience where you felt completely loved and understood. Try to make it an experience where your man was not involved but maybe a friend, colleague, family member, or child.

2. Make this experience as alive as possible by trying to remember every single detail.

3. Don't worry if your mind wanders as it probably will. Just try to go back to this experience as often as possible throughout the day.

This initial practise will cultivate the energy of power that will help to open your soul to connect to its deeper sources.

Now, when you are in this state of mind, phone or send your man this email. Do not attempt to do this if you are not in the state of mind of feeling detached from his reaction.

"I was thinking about a time when I felt completely loved and understood and it felt perfect."

Don't expect him to respond and if he does, turn down the need to push yourself more into his mental space and dial up what you practised in the tip above.

We will go more into this another time, but for now, remember that you are perfect.

Author's Bio
Nicole Gayle is a Dating Success Coach who has been featured on her local television station City TV.

She helps women create an inner shift in their lives using the latest personal development and persuasion tools so that they can give their men mind-blowing experiences and have the relationship they've always wanted. Get Your Free Guide at: http://www.howtogofromgirlfriendtowife.com