Showing posts with label Sexuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexuality. Show all posts

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sex positions

In the dance of lovemaking, each movement from you creates a response from your partner and the dance begins. The heart and soul connection between the partners fuels the blissful dance, and the position is the supporting choreography.

Positions may be peaceful for soft arousal, while others suggest and support high arousal and strong thrusting. Many yoga postures lend themselves to lovemaking as well.

As you relax and surrender to your body intelligence, the positions will naturally flow. Be in tune to the moment, rather than trying to follow a set routine.

Here’s a very popular position called ‘Riding High’ or ‘C.A.T.’ – coital alignment technique:

Many sex positions do not stimulate the clitoris very effectively – meaning to the degree needed for a woman to reach orgasm. Well, the coital alignment technique does - hence its popularity!

Here’s the scoop - The man slides two to four inches forward from the typical missionary position and rather than resting on his elbows, his arms cup the woman’s shoulders so that his body falls flat against hers. Both spines should be straight and the base of the penis will naturally rub the clitoris. Now do some genital soft rocking. The woman’s legs are straight out and touching her partner’s while she pushes her pelvis upward about two inches. He pushes down gently to give a slight counter-resistance. The movement is all up-and-down rocking, rather than in-and-out thrusting.

What Are Your Sex Expectations? 20 Ideas Of Discussion For Sex Expectations

Our lives are full of expectations, dreams and goals we want to accomplish. We all have expectations, dreams and goals for our marriage and many of those are in the area of sex. Unfortunately, many couples never take time to sit down and actually discuss their sex expectations. We may feel embarrassed about some of our expectations or even think that our spouse might think we are "dirty" or "perverted". Therefore, we stay quiet and only dream about our expectations and even get frustrated with our spouse because they can't figure it out. God created sex for enjoyment not just for procreation and I believe that the best sex is married sex. Yet, many couples miss out on enjoying each other erotically. The lack of discussing our sex expectations can sometimes even lead to fantasizing about acting out our sexual desires with someone other than our spouse. It is a tragedy that those fantasies and desires are as close our bedroom yet so far away because we don't talk about them.

All couples enter marriage with their sex expectations regarding frequency, endurance, performance, sex positions, locations, and what types of sex you will engage in. The stereotype is that most men dream about their wife being that wonderful classy lady in public but a woman gone wild in bed ready to attempt any sexual act possible. In reality, many times it is the wife who has these sexual flames of desire for her husband and how he will be a Tarzan in the bedroom. It is not always the man who has the strongest sexual desires.

Almost every couple wants a healthy and fun sex life. How about you? Why are you putting off talking about your sex expectations? These expectations can be silent for years in a marriage creating frustrations that show up in many areas of the marriage. I disagree with those that say sex is not that important in marriage. If it is not important why can it create serious frustrations and issues in marriage? Also, if it is not important then why do couples with good sex have healthier relationships and lives? Research proves that good sex helps make a good marriage.

Here are some questions and thoughts you can discuss about your sex expectations:
1. What are some challenges related to your sex life?
2. Is quality or quantity most important?
3. How much is enough?
4. What is the sexiest thing about your spouse?
5. What is the sexiest thing about you?
6. When do I feel most sexy?
7. What really turns me on?
8. My fantasies include......
9. I want to have more......
10. What would you like to change or improve in our sex?
11. I would like to attempt new sex positions such as....
12. What do you think about masturbation together or individually?
13. To me foreplay means....
14. Should we add sex toys to our sex play?
15. What about sleeping nude?
16. Something I think about a lot related to sex that might surprise you is.....
17. On a scale of 1 to 10 my orgasms usually rank.....
18. Our sex seems boring to me because....
19. My thoughts on quickies are....
20. Something I love about our sex life is.....

These are just a few topics of sex expectations you can discuss. The list will grow once you get started. If you increase your communication skills and reach deeper levels of intimacy outside the bedroom your enjoyment of sex in the bedroom and anywhere else you can imagine having it will become very satisfying!

I have heard it said "As your sex life goes, so goes the rest of your relationship." How is your sex life? Are you talking about your sex expectations?

Is Your Relationship Sizzling or Lukewarm?

Is Your Relationship Sizzling or Lukewarm?
Dr. Erica Goodstone
By Dr. Erica Goodstone


See all articles by Dr. Erica Goodstone
See Dr. Erica Goodstone's expert page
Average:
3
Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes)
Share |

* Is YOUR Relationship bubbling, simmering or lukewarm?
* Are you feeling sexy, desirable, and passionate?
* Is your partner showing you the interest and attention you desire?

In a recent professional list serve discussion, one of my colleagues, Julian Slowinski, PsyD, shared with us his remedy, solution and recipe for nurturing desire and greater intimacy in relationships. He suggests that couples can remain “erotically (and otherwise) connected by applying the 4 T’s of Time, Talk, Touch, and Trust. The 4 T’s help create an environment of closeness, including (playful erotic promises), which tends to increase partner availability for sexual experiences.” Find out more ins this scintillating book, “Keeping the Erotic Pot Bubbling” (Milsten & Slowinski), The Sexual Male: Problems and Solutions, WW Norton, 1999, Chap.36)

Time

How much quality time are YOU spending with your spouse, live in partner or significant other? Is this quality time together or is it time shared with family, friends, business associates, children or other non-shared, non-intimate activities? Do you create and share exciting, adventurous and novel activities or are you stuck in a rut of non-activity or monotonous routines?

Talk

When you talk with your partner, what is the quality of your speaking contact? Do you sparkle at each other’s words, adding a hint of joyful promise or do you focus on the mundane details of daily living that drain the excitement out of your conversations? Do you speak in lilting, loving terms or do you disparage, criticize or in some way show less than optimal appreciation for each other? And – do you take the time to talk about what really matters to your partner as well as to yourself? Do you talk about it or avoid talking about it, hoping it will just go away? Do you whisper sweet nothings? Do you call and leave enticing messages on the phone? Do you send intriguing texts that make your partner smile, blush, feel warm all over or laugh out loud? Or do you really believe that none of this matters and your partner will just have to accept you the way you are, take it or leave it?

Touch

How often do you and your partner touch? Do you gently brush your partner’s face or hair, lightly touch his or her shoulder when you pass by, or stop briefly for a warm and cuddly hug? Do you rub your partner’s tired feet, soothe your partner’s aching neck, or give an all out back or shoulder or full body rub just to help your partner feel relaxed? Is your touch ALWAYS a prelude to further sexual contact or do you often touch just for the sake of tender loving care? And what is the texture and quality of your touch? Do you enjoy touching and being touched merely for the sensations and the sense of being close?

Trust

Is your relationship a safe place to be? Can you say what you truly feel and express it in a way that is natural for you, without the fear of receiving a backlash of criticism and defensive verbal (or even physical) retaliation? Do you trust that your partner shares the truth with you and would tell you if something out of the ordinary was to occur, e.g., contact with an ex-lover or unexpected texts from an attractive person? Do you trust that your partner has your best interests at heart, truly loves you, and wants you to feel happy, uplifted and good about yourself? Do you trust that your relationship has lasting potential and that you both want to remain together? Do you trust yourself to be the best person you can be with this partner?

If you truly want to keep your relationship stimulating and passionate, then take the time now to apply the 4 T’s. You will be delighted you did. BE FOREWARNED. If you choose to ignore the 4 T’s, you are entering dangerous relationship territory and satisfaction is NOT guaranteed.
Author's Bio

Dr. Erica Goodstone, a Healing Through Love Mentor, has helped thousands of men, women, couples, and groups to develop greater awareness of the issues in their relationships and their lives, to overcome and alleviate stressors and discords, and to revitalize their relationships and their own mind-body-spirit connection. Dr. Goodstone can be contacted through her web site at http://www.DrEricaWellness.com.
Get a free report, 7 Critical Love Mistakes at http://www.ThroughLove.com
Take the Create Healing and Love Now Personal quiz and get your free personal evaluation and bonus gifts at http://www.createhealingandlovenow.com.

Music & Dancing is Like Sex & Romancing

If you’ve ever danced the night away, then you know how truly liberating, invigorating and therapeutic it can be to just let it loose on the dance floor. Music has a way of touching the soul in an extraordinary and profound way. Whether fueled by a DJ or a live band, dancing is quite similar to sex. By allowing yourself to fully delve into the veritable vibration of what you perceive, you’re able to become fully present to the physical sensations that you might not otherwise be keen to. It puts you completely in the moment and harmonizes your internal and external movements with the cadence of the energy current flowing in and around your entire body.

Music is similar to sexual energy – whether it’s rhythmic, melodic, gentle or robust. Sex can be soft and sweet – a relaxing exchange of soothing affection with tranquil tenderness like peaceful, acoustic ambient chill music. Or sex can be vigorous and dynamic – a spirited romp full of passion and eroticism, like high-energy electronic dance music or a powerful dramatic symphony. Often sex is a combination of movements and transitional interludes – an ebb and flow of infinite variations, like a rambling jam session with numerous instruments and capricious interplay. The energy builds and builds, gaining momentum, and when the song finally reaches its crescendo, it is akin to sexual climax.

Bonnie Raitt once said of Jimi Hendrix’s Purple Haze, “After the first time I heard it, I had to go and change my pants…” Aficionados of music, especially live music, know that soulful musicians can project their sexual energy through their instruments. Hendrix embodied this notion and inspired subsequent generations of musicians. It has been widely suggested and mostly agreed that his guitar was truly an extension of his penis. Bonnie, and millions of others, were hip to this. As with many musicians, Jimi handled his favorite instrument like it was an adored lover, affectionately directing its power and potential, fingering and fondling to evoke a marvelously seductive performance. Jimi’s vibe was carried further through the synching of his band to co-create a harmonious undulation of resonance that can be felt throughout every cell of your being. Most live bands feed off the energy of the crowd, creating a symbiotic accord and intensifying the connection.

The kind of music you enjoy can define much about who you are. You can certainly discover a lot about someone’s personality, interests, philosophies and beliefs by their preferred playlist. Specific genres of music can usually determine which particular demographic a person may fall into, bonding certain social groups together. You may enjoy trendy ‘top 40′, alternative, techno, reggae, classic rock, jam band, R & B, jazz, blues, country, pop, heavy metal, classical, etc. This can be especially useful when dating, as musical tastes are a great indicator of compatibility with a potential mate. Quite simply, if you appreciate the same kind of music as someone you’re dating, then you’ll most likely get along swimmingly.

Since the dawn of humanity, music and dance has been at the heart and soul of nearly every known culture. Music is part of our roots, as we celebrate our ethnic heritage and honor others in their cultural diversity. When we observe various customs in authentic musical and aesthetic expression, it fills our soul with tremendous appreciation for the beauty and essence of humanity. Whether you’re a spectator or a performer, there is a vibrational frequency that resonates throughout your entire being. Some of us are aware of it and can fully embody the vibe, and others may experience it on a different level. Whatever our preferences may be, it is easier to connect with like-minded individuals who enjoy the same styles as you do. Music is a great provider of common ground.

It is commonly discussed among women that you can gauge how a man is in bed by his dance moves. If he’s shy, reserved and tends to stand lifeless on the sideline, then he may be more conservative and unadventurous in bed. If he’s awkward, uncoordinated or seems insecure, it may also reflect poorly on his sexual expertise. You can sense his level of self-confidence and if he’s audacious and naturally outgoing, as the more genuinely secure and uninhibited he is, the chances are good he’ll be a mighty fine lover. Sometimes however, the shy quiet ones can be surprisingly amazing in bed – you just never know! : )

Music and dancing is a powerful aphrodisiac, as it gets the juices flowing and energy moving in the body, all while soothing the mind and balancing the mood. Like sex, dancing relieves stress and anxiety, also releasing endorphins which enhance energy level and increase libido. Dancing, making love or any other kind of sensual physical expression is deeply beneficial in holistically supporting a healthy body, mind and soul.

Whether you go out dancing or any other physical activity, or stay home and enjoy an enthusiastic sexcapade, be sure to sustain your energy all night long with an energy booster such as an all-natural topical cream. Avoid caffeine or synthetic energy enhancements. Try something like Onkor for sustainable everyday energy. Onkor contains powerful plant and mushroom extracts, botanicals and vitamins in a daily topical cream. You can purchase Onkor on-line via my blog site. Dance another song, play another round, enjoy one more time…

Female erotic energy - a field guide for men

Are you a man who can take directions from a woman?

This sex tip is all about direction, and despite my widespread reputation for being directionally challenged, you can trust me on this one.

I am going to guide you through an erotic touch experience with your lover, and this might just be the one that really lights her fire!

Let’s begin with you…

Self-preparation:
Be clean, nourished and hydrated. Clip nails and hangnails, and use hand lotion. She will notice. Don your silky boxers, sarong or use that birthday suit. Your self-preparation shows honor and is the first step into your role as a respectful giver.

Space setting:
Create a “love nest” on the floor. Comfort is essential, so place a thin mat or a few layers of bedding down and surround your nest with pillows. Now adorn this space for your lover with flowers, music, candles, incense, her favorite fluffy blanket, snack or drink. Have some massage oil ready (heated is best) and also some genital lube.

The act of building this love nest is a ritual—you are creating a space for magic to happen and adopting a “pleasure the Goddess” attitude.

The dance of energies:
Here’s an important concept: Touch, massage, and sex are about energy—connecting energetically with your lover and creating/allowing an energy flow. The more you embrace that notion, the more you will be able to employ techniques to create the sexual experience you desire. (And, to last longer!)

Energy can be very subtle, like a whisper or a glance. Other times it is huge and explosive, like an orgasm. But it is always sensitive and knowing. It knows what is happening in your heart, and if there is a disconnect between heart and hands, the energy will shrink and retreat. A loving, open heart allows the energy to move freely, bundling you both in that sweet “being in the flow” bliss.

Honoring the energy:
Energy prefers to advance slowly (and retreat gradually), so consider using this initial connection:

1) Lay side-by-side with your lover with your arm resting on her body.

2) Eye-gaze with her allowing your vision to get lazy and hazy—a sign of merging energies.

3) Synchronize your breathing with hers.

4) After a few minutes of silence, softly thank her for joining you, and let her know that tonight is all about her pleasure—she can only receive.

5) Gently nudge her to lying on her back as you sit by her side.

Touch her this way (upper body):
Don’t rush. You are honoring the Goddess, your energy bodies are connecting, and your new pattern of pleasuring has added anticipation to the mix. A super aphrodisiac!

1) Continue the eye contact and keep your body still. Moving as slowly as you can, brush her arms with your fingertips barely touching the body hair. Continue to her shoulders, neck, and upper chest. Move your fingers to her face and gently outline her lips, her eyes, her jaw, her outer ears, and then that soft, sensitive spot behind her ears.

2) Lean over and lightly touch your lips to hers. Gently suck first her upper lip and then her lower lip, nibble a bit, and retreat after outlining her mouth with your tongue.

3) Continue your light, slow touch as you move down to her breasts, stroking in a circular motion until you are tenderly teasing her nipples. Lick, suck, and blow if your intuition (or your lover!) suggests.

Now read her body. Does she seem relaxed and comfortable? Is she responsive to your touch? Or is her body asking you for more time and tenderness (foreplay)?

Erotic touch: Add variety, play with arousal levels, spread the energy, and just PLAY.

1) Massage her back. Gently coax your lover to turn onto her stomach and use feather strokes up and down her entire backside. Scratch her lightly with your nails or a dry body brush for sensation diversity, or tickle her with a feather or piece of fur. Massage her back with warm oil, but do not touch her sacrum or buttocks. She will notice your avoidance and wonder… More anticipation!

2) Establish positions. Lightly stroke her thighs and slowly nudge her legs apart by placing your hands on both sides of each leg, using circular massage strokes and greater pressure from the hand on the inside of her leg. Now you have moved her into a vulnerable position, and created a heap more anticipation. Reposition yourself to sitting or kneeling between her legs.

Read her body again. Is she relaxed and responsive? If not, continue with sensual, but non-sexual touch until she seems complete for this evening, and offer her this pleasuring again another night.

3) “Say hello” to her genitals. Reach one hand under your lover, and place your warm palm (no fingers, no lube) on her vulva (external genitals). Place your other palm on her sacrum. Hold static for a minute or so as you breathe deeply and slowly. You are saying hello to her genitals, an honoring energy connection. Now gradually increase the pressure of both hands (moving to very firm)—simultaneously press, release, press, release, as slowly as you can. Sensually tickle her inner thighs, and run your fingertips down her legs. Don’t rush.

4) Give an awakening massage. Remove your hand from her sacrum and with a palm over her labia, gradually increase the pressure while moving it very slowly in a circular motion. This action massages her labia and entire (internal and external) clitoral muscle, all 4.5 inches of it. Then reverse the direction.

5) Touch and tease. Gently pat some lube on your lover’s external genitals. Move her labia aside to expose the head of her clitoris, and with your palm, stroke from the clitoral hood to her vagina. Repeat several times. Now vary the stroking, pressure, and direction as you engage your fingers to awaken every inch of her luscious genitals. Watch her body and listen to her sounds as she indicates which touch techniques are her favorite.

6) Coax her arousal up, then down. As arousal builds, ask her to breathe with you—deeply, rapidly, and with a sound on the exhale. Take whatever time she needs. She may be on the brink of orgasm (though there are no goals or expectations). You may choose to support her through her release, or encourage her to marinate in those sweet erotic juices by bringing the energy down. Remove both hands from her genitals and use long strokes to spread the energy up her back, spine, and down her legs. Coach her in breathing deeply and slowly.

7) Release any stuck energy. Now switch gears. In a kneeling position, place your palms (straight arms) on her butt and thighs as you slowly lean onto her with your full body weight, release slowly also. Repeat several times, then put firm pressure on her sacrum and massage that energy up her spine.

8) Repeat. Continue to read her body, pleasure and tease, increase the arousal level, spread out the energy with long massage strokes, and bring the arousal down.

Orgasm…or No Orgasm:
Your lover may or may not experience an orgasm(s). Do not push for her to have one. Simply allow and invite. Her body is seeking satisfaction, and that may appear differently every time, so honor her body wisdom. Do not try to re-direct the path. You will know when she is complete.

The energy disconnect:
Honor the energy by offering a sweet, slow disconnect. As in the beginning, place a palm on her sacrum and the other over her genitals with light pressure. Breathe slowly several times before removing your hands. Learn over your lover and whisper in her ear, “Thank you for allowing me to pleasure you.”

Offer a full body hug, spooning, or she may prefer to be wrapped cocoon-like as she rests.

Before your planned pleasuring time:
Re-read my suggestions here and as you read, envision your actions. Then let my techniques rest gently in the back of your mind. When your heart is open and you are immersed in the flow of loving, erotic energy, you will create a pleasuring session that is just perfect, whether or not you’ve followed my suggestions precisely.

Congratulations on your willingness to join your lover in this new dance of erotic energies!

Female arousal - or Huh? This worked last week.

Female arousal…or…Huh? This worked last week.

Women are intricate beings. Not complicated – just intricate. A woman’s body is full of mysteries, and at times getting her aroused may seem like a journey to parts unknown.

But here’s the thing: the directions may change from week to week, or even day to day, so toss out your maps as they are unreliable. The feminine nature is one of change and fluidity - what sent her over the edge last week may even become an irritant this week.

Still ‘not complicated’ you say? Yes, not complicated. There’s a secret to female arousal and when that is recognized and accepted, the nature of the process is transformed.

SECRET: For women, it’s ALL about the journey.

Arousal Factors
Men are genitally aroused, women are generally aroused. Genital stimulation often brings men to full arousal. Women are more intricate. It is reported that an adult woman’s body is 10 times more sensitive to touch and pressure than a man’s, and therefore women are often more sensitive to the entire body’s potential for sensuous pleasure.

Typically a woman’s arousal is slower and requires an emotional component along with the increased physical stimulus. Visual or mental stimulus alone rarely work to arouse a woman and an unconscious comment can quickly shut her down.

Many women share that their partner’s put too much of their pleasuring energy on the genitals. Remember that women are multi-potential when it comes to receiving pleasure, so take the time to discover new erogenous zones and stimulate multiple body areas before moving to the genitals. As a general guideline, consider pleasuring her entire body for two-thirds of the time and her genitals for one-third.

A woman’s sex drive is often significantly affected by the events in her life. A difficult week at work can drastically diminish her sex drive; whereas under similar circumstances, a man may consider sex as a much desired sleeping pill. Women need more mood-setting, more foreplay and more time to reach orgasm, though they are more likely to have many orgasms, and they can ejaculate, too.

Learn your partner’s unique secrets. Which of her nipples is more easily aroused? How do her earlobes like to be stimulated? Remembering your partner’s secrets shows presence and honoring – important factors for the development of a heart-connection with most women.

Women whose bodies have been the object of criticisms often have difficulty moving past their perceived imperfections into full acceptance and ultimate pleasure. If you are truly able to love and accept her just as she is, tell her and show her. Just as most men perceive their penis to be imperfect, most women perceive their breasts to be too small, too droopy, and their butts and thighs to be too big, too jiggly.

Timing
What worked great last week may not have the same explosive effect this week. Be aware of your partner’s sensitivities regarding her menstrual cycle, or her pre-, peri- or post-menopausal condition. Are her breasts and nipples too tender to have them touched just before her period? Is she more easily aroused during her period, with a slower arousal just after her period? Does she feel her strongest urge for sex during ovulation? A woman’s hormone fluctuations or imbalances can have a powerful effect on her sexuality, and she usually has little or no control over them.

Consider this: A woman’s variety of reactions and sensitivities helps you to remain creative, patient and present. A journey to be savored, for sure!

Are they attractive enough for a one night stand?

Men seem to be more interested in meeting a girl for the first time and hooking up regardless of what she looks like. Are they attractive enough for a one night stand? Research shows that men are less picky in terms of who they will have casual sex with. Women tend to increase what is wanted in terms of attractiveness when seeking a casual adventuresome night and men on the other hand do not discriminate as intensely.

Dr Achim Schützwohl, from the Department of Psychology at Brunel University explored physical attractiveness and whether men and women were willing to accept any of these three offers:

1) To go out
2) Go to their apartment
3) Go to bed with them

In his research conducted in the US, Germany and Italy he used 427 males and 433 female students. The students were then asked if they were approached by another gender who has been described as slightly unattractive, moderately attractive or exceptionally attractive for a casual encounter which would they be likely to accept.

In each of the three levels of attractiveness described above men were more likely to go out, go to their apartment and go to bed with them. German men were less apt to go out or go to their apartment than Italian and American men. Italian men were more likely to just go to bed with them than American men. German men were less likely than American men to go to bed with them. The cultural and sexual morals played a part in the likely variations.

With the three offers given the men were more likely to engage in a woman that was moderately or exceptionally attractive than if she was slightly unattractive. Women increasingly placed significant importance on a man’s looks. Women were more likely to accept going to their apartment or going to bed from a exceptionally attractive man.

In the end if a woman wants to have casual sex she will most likely pick the exceptionally attractive man for the unplanned encounter. Are they attractive enough for a one night stand, well it depends on your gender?

Sex & Pizza... Pizza & Sex

So, yes this one is about the old cliche... "Pizza is a lot like sex. When its good its really good, when its bad its still pretty good." I always enjoyed how Adam Carolla of the early Love Line years would yell at befuddled young women who had yet to understand this 'fact' of our existence, "There is no bad pizza! Did you hear me! There is no bad pizza. For a guy, any sex is good sex." While I do get the underlying truism of this belief, as a lady I have doubted its Universal validity. Please let me explain...

My second hometown, from the age of ten, was a rural-cosmopolitan-turn of the century place called Clinton, in Hunterdon County, New Jersey. While living there and spending plenty of time in New York City (family) and sometimes Philly (friends) I sampled a lot... a lot of pizza. If it was made by anyone besides a national chain, it was anywhere from good to great in quality. Even after sampling all the 'real' pizza I could stand in Italy the summer before college, I still found East Coast pizza to be its own special brand of kick ass. From this introduction I hadn't imagined pizza was something you could really get wrong. Then I learned that this is simply not true. I learned that different regions really do specialize in different cuisines even in the USA and that its worth knowing what you will and will not settle for.

Upon graduation from high school in 1995 I moved to Seattle, WA and started taking photography classes at the University of Washington. Some time after settling in, I spent an afternoon roaming around Pike Place Market taking pictures and generally getting lost. I had only a couple of bucks on me and of course being excited had not actually prepared to be away from the refrigerator all day. I saw a sign that said "Cheese Pizza Slice + Soda $1" in the window of a reliable establishment. (I will not throw them under the bus by stating their name here. It will suffice to say that they are a well respected Italian foodstuffs purveyor in Seattle.) I purchased the slice mentioning what a good deal I thought it was to the cashier. I did not initially comprehend his smirk in response. Mouth watering and hopeful, I picked up the single picnic-style paper plate. Immediately I knew something was very wrong...

Where, I ask you, was the slice I had dreamed of? The slice with the points of its triangle hanging over the edge of the two or three plates it takes to hold it up. (Nearly too much to handle with one hand, to be devoured in any reasonable fashion one must fold it in half lengthwise.) The salty, cheesy, indescribably appetizing treat that taste so good you don't care how you look wrangling it into your mouth. And as you finish this delightful piece of heaven the body high sets in. What once were plates is now messy paper all soaked through with stains, there's sauce at the corners of your mouth and grease dripping down the inside of your palm to the edges of your sweatshirt sleeve. And you... you are smiling.

That was what I had in mind and here was this slice of "pizza." Oh so small, small enough to fit entirely, squarely at the center of the plate, the sauce to cheese ratio was inverted towards overly tomato-y, both were dried out and room temperature looking, the crust was thick - all over, the plate too light. My first bite I was taken aback, was it previously frozen or something? After a second doubt filled try, that slice, my 1 of 2 dollars was placed on the lip of a nearby trash can. Maybe someone else, who was hungrier than me, would be as grateful to see it as I was not.

This naivety in connection to pizza did cross over to my understanding of the available levels and quality of sexual encounters. So, I found myself (also after leaving home to go to school and after being married a short while there) having all different sorts of sex. The 'bad' sex was much like the bad pizza... was it still sex? On a technicality, sure it was. Actually, in my book it was more just rubbing body parts together because it felt some pleasurable. Like when I was three or so and figured out that waiting to pee felt like a completely different type of feeling good. Thing is, once I experienced good sex, and then really great sex... the kind that lights your whole being up from toes to hair follicles and beyond to the edges of your energy bodies, that makes you laugh out loud when you cum, that stops your brain function (except for the part that says do it again, do it again) that puts you in touch with what you are here for, that makes you see God... once I found that there was no going back.

For sometime after that point, I was willing to take good when I couldn't find great. Then, after some conscientious practice, I learned it was all up to me in the end anyway. My pleasure, my power. So, when I don't got great somewhere in me, I'd rather just pass on it all together.

And the moral of this story? If you are from the United States West Coast and this is all you've got to go on, go ahead, eat whatever pizza you like for now. Take a trip and find the good stuff if you can and see where you go from there. (I highly recommend Old School Pizzeria in Olympia, WA.) And, ever so much more importantly, no matter where you live, go and get yourself really well sexed up. Since some of you, like regional cuisine, will be better at certain dishes, with certain partners over the others and since some of you may have the same co-chef for every round, this will take differing amounts of repetition. Regardless of how long you believe this quest will take start as soon as possible on your journey and don't stop looking until you find what you came for. Take the first step today. Honor yourself with a promise to never, ever settle for bad 'pizza' ever, ever again. Ultimately, you may realize that the power to have what you truly deserve has been within you all the while.

Swinging Heaven Community

Swinging Heaven is place of freedom of expression. All that you want to explore is available there. I enjoy knowledge that it gave me, so I decided to share it with others as well. What does Swinging stands for? Well I first got introduced to the Swinger lifestyle through UK swinger friend. I didn’t know much, but it intrigued me that some people in today’s society participate in polygamy sexual intercourse. I was on a mission to find out what is swingers lifestyle all about.

My parents always teach me to be polite and to maintained mine integrity and never express my desires if it wasn’t socially appreciable. For social standards everything besides monogamy relationship is unmorally and wrong. I wanted to explore what I like and I stumbled upon Swinging Heaven.

There is not much about it to say. They are all cool people; they enjoy everything that normal people do. Just their sexual preferences are liberal and they like to enjoy recreational sex between couples. My UK swinger friend told me to enjoy myself when we first got to my first party. I just wondered through club and watched other people doing what they like. It’s really got me rushing with desire.

All that freedom and love. No strings, just pure pleasure and honesty. For a second I felt like I discovered my sexuality from a whole different perspective. Feeling like you first time had sex, and instantly you know that it you will do that again.

For me, and my girl, Swinging Heaven really spice up our relationship. It helped us in so many ways, we discovered passion that was buried somewhere deep in our mediocre life’s. Now, feel free to find out what does swinging heaven means for you, and me, now, feel free to go deeper in to freedom of reality.

Swinging is a way of life. Swingers are people, usually couples that enjoy casual sex with each other with everybody’s consent. So in order to fulfill one of you and your partner’s deepest fantasies you should know some basic things that will help you to decide is this experience for you. You should know that there are many things that can go wrong, and you can literally fuck up your marriage. I am swinging for a really long time. I can assure you, if you want to minimize your chances of fucking it all up, you should find mine swinging heaven guide really helpful. But let’s get back to basics.

I hope that everybody will find out about this Swinger lifestyle. Off course that Swinging is not for everybody, but until you know it’s not for you, it’s the price for me to, stand by you. UK swinger scene did something big for me; I hope that you will find something useful too. Feel free to cum and see. Swinging Heaven

When Emotional intimacy and Sexuality Marry

When Emotional Intimacy and Sensuality Marry

Masculine Polarity Meets Feminine Polarity

Oftentimes, people have both emotional intimacy (a feeling of love), and sensuality (a feeling of sexy charge), at the beginning of a relationship but then, it fizzles out as time goes by. Why is that? The biologist in me could drone on about the change in hormones levels of dopa – the one that gives you a drug-like charge as part of the evolutionary drive to reproduce – to oxytocin – the one that helps you to feel cuddly and bonded. But it’s not that simple. We could just excuse it away as “oh, that’s just how our bodies work, just accept it and settle”. Let’s not do that though. Let’s not settle!

We need to understand a bit about how our bodies work -emotionally, bio-chemically, and energetically in order to solve the problem. There is so much information out there on the topic that most people are unaware of.

A big part of the problem stems from lack of education. Our culture pushes the glamor of sex at every turn but has an underlying puritan aversion to giving out honest details on sex and how our bodies work. We are expected to be experts at sex as soon as we hit maturity – without any training or basic information. This sets up a lot of unconscious stress from the get-go.

So, I’m here to give you some straightforward information:
First- let’s look at ways people can do relationship-

* You can have High emotional intimacy with No sexual charge (also called ‘polarity’) = Love with no passion (This is either platonic friendship or what some romantic relationships become – then it’s boring.)

* You can have No emotional intimacy with High sexual charge = lust (which can be fun for a while, right? But, as we all know, if there isn’t an emotional connection, it won’t usually last for years. In this scenario, you can even dislike someone emotionally but be sexually drawn to them.)

* You can have High emotional intimacy and High sexual charge = Passionate love

* You can be somewhere in between these scenarios, because it’s on a scale.

To summarize:

* High emotional intimacy + No sexual charge = Platonic Love/ Passionless Love
* No emotional intimacy + High sexual charge = Lust
* High emotional intimacy + High sexual charge = Passionate love

Since today’s blog is focused on how to maintain High emotional intimacy and High sexual charge = Passionate love,

we’re going to now discuss how to create a higher sexual charge for people in intimate relationships.

(Note – In writing, I use hetero-sexual language in describing couples – however – this process works for same-sex couples or bi-couples too. When I use the terms ‘masculine polarity’ and ‘feminine polarity’ – it doesn’t necessarily have to be a male that is the masculine polarity and a female that is the feminine polarity. But, one person in the couple needs to run the masculine polarity and the other needs to run the feminine polarity for there to be a charge. Everyone has a preferred polarity, find out what yours is. More below.)

You are a battery

Sexual charge in a physical body is a bio-energetic process that you can adjust. To clarify this concept, think of how a simple battery with a positive pole and a negative pole works. Let’s do a simple review of how a battery works:
How a Battery Works

A battery is basically a container full of chemicals that produces negatively-charged elements called electrons, and this process of moving electrons creates power. If you look at any battery, you’ll notice that it has two poles or terminals. One pole is marked (+), or positive, while the other is marked (-), or negative. As an example, look at D cell batteries – the ones used in your flashlight – the ends of the battery are the terminals. In a car battery, there are two heavy lead posts that act as the poles.

Electrons collect on the negative pole of the battery. If you connect a wire between the negative and positive terminals, the electrons will flow from the negative to the positive pole as fast as they can (and wear out the battery very quickly — this also tends to be dangerous, especially with large batteries, so don’t try this with a real battery at home). Normally, you connect some type of ‘load’ to the battery using the wire – for example, a light bulb – then the battery’s energy flow is used constructively to light the bulb or run your car.

­Inside the battery itself, a chemical reaction produces the electrons. Electrons flow from the battery into a wire, and must travel from the negative to the positive pole for the chemical reaction to take place. That is why a battery can sit on a shelf for a year and still have plenty of power — unless electrons are flowing from the negative to the positive pole, the chemical reaction does not take place. This is where we use the analogy for men and women. There is a reason some people say the phrase ‘we didn’t have any chemistry‘ when they are dating. They may have an emotional connection, like common hobbies, but there is literally no charge between them. The chemical reaction did not take place. This is because there is no polarity. Sometimes people are ‘flat’. They need a highly charged masculine pole (just for science’s sake – call this the + end of the battery) and a highly charged feminine pole (the – pole) to build of a charge between them and ‘light’ up.

OK -How do we do that?

1. Masculine energy is about form, structure, and assertion. Feminine energy is about flow, being magnetic, a receiver. Practice these qualities in your daily life. Practice ‘Bouncing’ between them. Practice enhancing them to the nth degree. How would it feel to allow your self to just receive all day? How would it feel to be completely structured and planned all day? Which qualities do you prefer emanating? Since we are whole beings, yin and yang, we have both polarities within us. We have an innate preference to express one pole while being sexual though. The more we can feel the difference between what a masculine pole is and what a feminine pole is, the more we can have conscious control over choosing to amplify and express one pole during sex.

2. Spend some quality time apart – as individuals. When you become too ‘fused’ as a couple, you lose the ability to run charge – you lose your polarity. You need to know who you are as an individual in order to keep polarity as a couple.

3. Celebrate diversity as a couple – there is a reason that phrase ‘Opposites attract’ came into being. Practice being stereotypically ultra-feminine and ultra-masculine in the bedroom one day. Practice it as a game – not as a rigid role you have to play all the time. Remember wholeness is to have options – to know what the receptive pole feels like and what the assertive pole feels like. You choose polarity for your own pleasure.

Here’s a game to play together to illustrate this in a kinesthetic way:

* Get two magnets. Face the South (like) poles towards one another. What happens? They repel each other. Face the opposite poles towards one another. What happens? They attract – they forcefully pull.

4. Start thinking of the person as your lover, not your best friend.

5. Just for men – to be more in the masculine polarity:

* Practice standing as if you were a mountain – feet slightly apart – toes pointing straight ahead – head and spine straight but not rigid. Feel the solidity in your body – how does that feel?
* Spend some time doing ‘masculine’ hobbies – this can be anything, but something to you that feels more masculine. There is a reason those men’s retreats and ‘warrior weekends’ are so popular.
* Spend time doing things that bring you more into your physical body (-we tend to avoid the body in this culture with watching tv and the computer-) . This may sound crazy, but spend 1/2 hour chopping some wood. Notice how you feel.

6. Just for women- to be more in the feminine polarity:

* I’ve made a recording just for you! (Click : http://www.thetemplepriestess.com/events/meet-barbara/ and press the play button on the audio player.)

Blessings to you all! I’d love to hear how this information has helped you.

Sexuality 101

Sexuality is a complex subject. When I lecture about it, I often reference Margo Anand, who wrote The Art of Sexual Ecstasy in 1989, a book that sheds much light on the subject of orgasm, that much sought after, dreamed about, schemed for phenomenon that sadly about 20 percent of women have never experienced. The big “O” is the talk in women’s gatherings, in locker rooms, and upon therapists’ couches.

Do you want to know the truth about orgasm? Anand quotes Alan P. Brauer, M.D., and Donna J. Brauer: “The average orgasm is only ten seconds long. The average frequency of intercourse is once or twice a week. That’s twenty seconds a week, about one-and-half minutes a month, about eighteen minutes a year. In fifty years, that’s about fifteen hours. For fifteen hours of ecstasy we devote how many thousands and thousands of hours thinking about sex, worrying about sex, daydreaming about, wishing for sex, planning for sex?”

Wow! Gives one pause, doesn’t it?

Sexuality, of course, involves much more than climaxing. For many reasons, many of us struggle with sex and sexuality. Sometimes religion plays a role. I was raised Catholic and still remember being told by the stern padre and the well-meaning but shortsighted sisters that if we dared to masturbate, we would grow hair on our palms and go blind. Well, thanks to God’s great wisdom, there are no blind, hairy-palmed souls dancing about our planet. We can enjoy life’s little self-pleasures.

More often while wrestling with sexual issues, our relationship with intimacy comes into play, as does our perception of ourselves. Have you ever thought about what intimacy means? Breaking down the word gives us its definition: see into me. Do you love yourself enough to allow someone else to love you, love all of you on every level possible – physical, emotional and spiritual?

The bottom line is this. If we are ever going to find any pleasure in life, sexual or otherwise, we are going to have to learn to love ourselves in the package that we currently inhabit. We need to magnify our great assets with continual nurturing and respect. When that happens, our sexuality will feel normal, a deep part of ourselves that we can easily share with another.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

3 Sexy Lessons for Seducing Your Wife

Whether you’ve been married a year or a decade, you’ve probably discovered that sex can go stale, no matter how much you love your partner. Keeping sex hot in a monogamous relationship is a challenge—but can you think of a better one to tackle?

As any sex therapist will tell you, there really are differences between men and women when it comes to sex. As long as a man is still in good health, he generally needs little priming to get ready for sex. While that doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy foreplay, just the thought of making love is enough to make him ready.

Women need more. They generally express the need to know that sex means more than just a physical release. Yes, physical release is good for women, but for women orgasm comes more easily and may even feel better if sex has some emotional meaning.

Sometimes men really don’t seem to understand how to make sex meaningful to their wife. Because a man sees the act of sex as an expression of love, he may not get what he needs to do to create trust and intimacy.

That is where the art of seduction comes in. To seduce someone means to entice them, to make the idea of sex very appealing. Seduction requires charm. You need to be clever, to make yourself not only attractive to your wife, but to attract her to you as well.

One way to seduce your wife is to let her know how much you love her. And I don’t just mean her chest or tush. I mean all of her. Tell her how much you love her face, her hands, the curve of her calf. Tell her you love her kindness and her laugh. Notice the things that made you first fall in love with her, and tell her that you still notice.

Another way to seduce her is to add some romance to your day. This is true most especially on a day that you are feeling in the mood for sex. You needn’t make a big gesture or spend a lot of money. Leave a little note someplace only she will see it (her makeup drawer, on top of her handbag). Or pour her a glass of wine or sparkling water and bring her a plate of cheese and fruit when she comes home at the end of the day.

The third important thing to remember if you want to seduce your wife is to start making love by touching her hands, arms, face, neck, and back before you move onto her more erotic areas. Most women need to be warmed up a bit before they like being touched in an intimate way. Touching and kissing your wife tenderly will show that you love and respect this about her.

These things may be small, but they are very important. And you can’t just do them once and expect her to be enchanted with you forever. You need to repeat, repeat, repeat. But not the exact same thing! Following a formula will just seem forced. You need to seduce your wife with love, from the heart.

Just because you’ve been together awhile doesn’t mean you should give up on doing all the things lovers do. You can get, and keep, your wife’s interest in sex if you know how to show her that you still love her and that sex means something to you, too.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Can You Handle An Open Relationship?

Open relationships are otherwise known as polygamous or polyamorous relationships. It is defined as a situation wherein couples go into mutual agreement to date and engage in sexual activity with other people although they still continue being in a relationship with each other. In the past, those who blatantly disregarded the definition of monogamy were called swingers.

Nowadays, however, a lot of rules in relationships have evolved, and the number of people in open relationships has increased dramatically. Although it has been something that was frowned upon back in the days, the social embarrassment that used to go along with being engaged in polyamory has seen a significant drop, not only among singles but among those involved in a committed relationship, even marriage.

It might seem like a novel idea but it actually has been around for quite some time already. While some people don’t see a problem with this kind of arrangement, polygamy and open relationships can still throw up some prickly issues and is no doubt never for the fainthearted. Can an open relationship survive in the long run, and what are its benefits and downsides? One of the premises of the concept of an open relationship is that it can enhance a couple’s trust, role flexibility, personal freedom and growth, and most especially introduce the idea of love and sex without the jealousy.

Some couples who are involved in it even maintain that it can in fact spice up an otherwise monotonous and lacklustre marriage. As much as it can do wonders to a marriage, it still can’t be denied that being involved in this kind of partnership has also its own share of threats, especially when it comes to health concerns.

Having multiple sexual partners can significantly increase the likelihood of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or infection. It is a common notion that gays and lesbians are particularly prone to these problems, but the prevalence of polygamy has radically increased even among heterosexual individuals. Also, there is always the possibility of getting pregnant, because sex is alive and kicking, just as it is even in the conventional, monogamous type of relationship.

Another major issue in an open relationship may be abandonment. There is always the concern that some people might steal or take one’s partner away if one permits other people to have sexual contact with him/her. likewise is the element of competition, because the partner may get a far better end of the bargain just because he/she is more gregarious and attractive, going out every night with a new date while you’re stuck at home, watching reruns of Friends just because you are the less attractive one.

Open relationships ultimately require an enormous level of honesty and maturity just like that of a monogamous couple, although the amount of communication needed to overcome problems are far greater and can be more draining. The topic of polygamy is a hot one nowadays, although it is definitely unresolved and debatable.

It may work for some people while others may find it hard to get past its sexual implications. Ultimately, monogamy or polygamy, every relationship has its own set of innate difficulties. Challenges are always part of the package, and it’s mostly up to the couple and the level of commitment they share in making things work.
Author's Bio
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Powerful Secrets of Seduction. Learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Sexual Pleasure Your Man Would Love For You To Know

Ever been curious to know what mind blowing sexual pleasure your man would truly appreciate? More important, what tricks a girl does to really thrill him and maximize each level of bliss he hits. We’d probably think that one has to know how a guy thinks and understand his bodily function.

So, what exactly are ways to make him want you bad? A guy’s desire can be triggered by almost anything, a subtle stroke, a provocative visual, the sound of a woman’s voice at a certain pitch. As soon as you man’s mind switch over to sex, his body begins to prickle with anticipation.

The male mind holds great power over his physical state, so the key to pleasure your man is to use teasing preplay moves that will make him ache for you. Take advantage of his physically on edge–state. Keep him guessing where your lips and strokes will hit next which are some ways to make him want you.

Show him that you feel the difference in intensity. To pleasure your man, try to get a little rough with him from time to time. Allow his passion to be both contained and provoked. Pay attention to his shoulder blades, spine and butt. Before you take him to heaven, lightly scratch those nails over those areas.

The nerves near his spine and waist are directly connected to his package. Then flick the tiny knob of flesh on the underside of his penis head with the flat of your tongue. Sending that shock through his system before he enters you will trigger a chain reaction that would pleasure your man.

If you sense your guy’s drive is dwindling, whip out some dirty talks. Tell your guy how hot you feel with him inside you, and throw out some sexy requests. Create the cocktail of sensations to pleasure your man by giving him what he craves. Just remember, don’t loose him too soon.

Pay attention to his body, and slow down when he reaches over drive. The longer you keep him in this holding pattern, the more pleasurable the explosion will be for him and the more you are likely to get yours. Stimulate him throughout the orgasm is important to pleasure your man.

You can do that by pulling your guy deep inside you as he ejaculates to create an intense, powerfully connected sensation. While sensitivity subsides, trace your fingertips over the upper half of his body. These movements soothe his skin and reinforce your bond to a loving relationship.

Author's Bio
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Powerful Secrets of Seduction. Learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.

Using Sex To Relieve Stress

“Not tonight, Josephine” even the famous conqueror Napoleon Bonaparte can decline the carnal needs from the Empress Josephine because of stress… well I’m not sure about that but basically most couple compromise their sex- life because of too much pressure. If only I’d get a penny for every man and woman who complains of having less and less sex, I’d be a very rich woman by now.

One of the main reasons why there is a decline in a couple’s sex life, especially for long term lovers is the dominant presence of anxiety, distress, pressure coupled with over familiarity and too many obligation. Some couples may be unaware with the fact that sex plays an important role in the relationship; it keeps you closer and more intimate.

Believe me, a sexless union will eventually takes its toll. The best way to prevent this from happening is to re-think your views about it. Never think that sex is an additional burden or “obligation” to be done on the contrary it can be a perfect tool to relieve stress.

Yes, it has been proven that it is a perfect way to relieve stress. First and foremost, a good copulation equates good mood. So, if you want your husband or you to be always grinning from ear to ear try to get some great dose of coitus every night. And add some color into it, don’t just wham it then snore yourself to sleep.

Give time for foreplays. If both of you are tired and exhausted from all the days work, rub some massage oil with each other and take turns giving a very sensual massage. A sensual massage is always one of the best foreplay there is and of course a perfect way to relieve stress.

Here are some more reasons why intercourse is an excellent way to relieve stress. It includes deep breathing. Deep, relaxed breathing relaxes stressed- out body and oxygenates the blood. Aside from deep breathing, the sense of touch soothes every anxiety and worry, making you feel comforted and supported. And scientifically speaking, during copulation, your body releases endorphins, the hormone responsible for making you feel good all over.

The physical work out involved during intercourse is also a certain way to relieve stress but don’t over do the physical activity or you’ll suffer from over fatigue. How to relieve stress using sex is the most effective way to bring back the spark to your relationship. So, instead of using other alternatives to relieve stress why not use sex with your one and only instead, it’s good for you.

Author's Bio
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Powerful Secrets of Seduction. Learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.

What You Need to Know About A Multiple Orgasm

A multiple orgasm is something that sounds like "Fiji" to women. It is something wonderful and exotic... and unlikely to be obtainable. Meanwhile the ability to experience an orgasm several times in a row lays at the very nature of female sexuality! So why is it that not all of the women use this, God's, gift?

One of the women, when asked about a multiple orgasm, replied with: "Wow, what is that?" And there is absolutely nothing exotic in it. It is one of the normal variations of a female orgasm when a woman experiences several (up to 3-5) orgasmic releases during one sexual intercourse, usually following one another every 15-40 seconds. The main condition for it is the long enough sexual intercourse, and it is something that is of course a man's responsibility. At the same time just the length of the intercourse alone is not what achieves multiple orgasm. The basis for the success is the absence of the so-called refractory period in a woman. In other words the woman does not need to rest and take a break between orgasms as a man does. Therefore if after the first orgasm a man continues to intensively stimulate the partner then she is very likely to experience a second orgasm.

So is a multiple orgasm healthier or better in any way than a usual orgasm? Let's start with the fact that any orgasm is an additional pressure on the heart. It is also known that the electroencephalogram (the recording of the brain's spontaneous electrical activity over a short period of time, usually 20–40 minutes, as recorded from multiple electrodes placed on the scalp) of an orgasm is the same as one of an epileptic seizure. Both are accompanied with the convulsions of the whole body. Compared to just one female orgasm, a multiple orgasm has nothing special except for the repetitive charge. Thus, even one orgasm can lead to unpleasant consequences if you suffer from hypertension, weak vessels, epilepsy and other similar illnesses. However, a totally opposite statement can be said about a long , hard jog for example. In our point of view a multiple orgasm is neither useful, nor harmful as far as your health goes and definitely beneficial in the area of pleasure. By the way, there is also an opinion that a female orgasm is a defensive reaction, preventing the body from excessive arousal. Having reached the critical level of tension, the nervous system gives a signal: "I’ve had enough! I'm done!" and the woman experiences the peak of sensations.

Should couples strive to achieve a multiple orgasm for full sexual experience? That's a good question! Not every woman and not under every circumstance reaches even one orgasm. It strongly depends on the level of her trust with her partner, ability to relax well, and sometimes even making a plan with a man about the necessary strategy. And in this sense a multiple orgasm requires solid and sincere relationship in a couple. Besides the word ‘should’ in this question makes it particularly doubtful. Along with this word a multiple orgasm becomes more of an achievement than pleasure. In other words, when ‘we should’ appears in a relationship, it stops being a relationship of love and becomes one focused on achievements.

And talking about the man, in order to get a woman to have a multiple orgasm, should the partner be at minimum a long-distance runner? That is actually exactly correct. If he hasn't mastered the technique of achieving his own multiple orgasm, then maybe it wouldn’t even be beneficial to strive for a multiple orgasm for his partner. Kind of like rabbits, who die from a heart attack in the process of mating. So any achievements in sex are possible only when the partners are a tandem: if they treat each other with kindness and trust, feel each other really well and work on their relationship overall and not on specific achievements.

Men are advised to look for certain techniques of sexual intercourse's prolongation on the internet, there are a lot of them, especially in eastern cultures such as China and India, most popular ones called Kegels and Jelqing exercises. Optionally, a man can form certain skills, which contribute to the woman's multiple orgasm. It's quite another matter that a man can become obsessed with the achievement itself and not on the relationship, which can lead to distrust, tensions and arguments. Therefore a woman should not define such a goal as achieving a multiple orgasm. If she fails at achieving it (which is absolutely normal and is not the evidence of any defects) a man will feel like a failure. Besides not every woman and not every time welcomes further stimulation after the first orgasm, a lot of women have such a high sensitivity that continuing the caresses is actually painful. Overall, of course, every couple can win a lot from the full exploration of their capabilities but naturally it would be better if the ability to experience an orgasm was measured by the quality of the sensations and not the quantity.

So does this mean that achieving a multiple orgasm is not an indicator of hyper sexuality? The answer is, not at all. Furthermore, a multiple orgasm sometimes comes with the mental dysfunctions in the area of sexual behavior. Taoist wise men say that the peaks of pleasure are only a part of the love process, and no orgasm should become an end in itself, not a single one, nor a multiple one. When you and your partner learn to perform the circulation of sexual energy along your body, then you will be able to experience the waves of orgasms as often as you want. When you will make love, you will feel the closest connection (physical, emotional and even spiritual), which you very rarely felt before, if ever.

At one point the discovery of a multiple orgasm caused a commotion in sexology, and over the course of several decades the amount of women practicing a multiple orgasm has grown exponentially, and they are not even taught by anyone; they just found out that it's possible. One thing to mention is it may be best to try this first with masturbation with a vibrator, which allows you to control the process and not having to worry the stresses of your partner’s involvement. This guide was meant as an introduction to the subject and just barely touches the tip of the iceberg. Spend some time researching, experimenting and practicing. Pretty soon you will personally know the incredible euphoria of multiple orgasms.


Author's Bio
About The Author

Serj Sagan is the CEO and owner of a Natural Male Enhancement company. Dedicated to find the real truth about male enhancement products and companies and expose it to the consumer. Copyright 2010 http://www.enhancementresearch.com This article may be freely distributed if this resource box stays attached.