Apologizing to Your Girlfriend Isn't Easy - Here Are 5 Ways That Work

Few things in a relationship are as difficult as apologizing to your girlfriend. Have you grown tired of the bickering and shouting, the arguing, punctuated by long periods of the silent treatment? What happened? If you'd like to get your relationship back on an even keel, you're going to have to apologize to her, regardless of why she's upset. Keep in mind, though, that your apology can repair your relationship or destroy it altogether. Following these five steps should help you keep your relationship together and make it grow.

Step 1: If it really is your fault, man up and take responsibility.

Admitting that you're wrong isn't easy. Your only reasonable first step in making amends is to admit your mistake, if in fact you made one. What kind of a man makes excuses when he's at fault? Stand up and take responsibility! You've got to tell her what it was you did wrong, and then - and this is essential - you must promise never to do it again. Apologizing isn't complete if you don't take responsibility for what you did wrong.

Step 2: Don't make her reaction be the heart of another argument.

Forgive and forget is great advice, but don't expect your girlfriend to follow it as soon as you apologize. Some girls are quicker to forgive and move on than others, and your mistake also will influence how long it takes. When a guy mans up and apologizes for something he does wrong, though, most girls worth keeping will appreciate it. Accepting the consequences - whatever she decides to do while she cools off - is another sign of a mature man. She'll see it as a display of sincerity and willingness to accept responsibility for what you've done. This is a critical element of the apology.

Step 3: Calm down and cool off!

Pain and resentment in relationships often comes from the things we blurt out without thinking. If you're in a circumstance where something like this might happen, try to take a time-out to think things through and calm down. Anger gets all sorts of hormones and chemicals flowing in your body, and one thing that happens is that you do and say things impetuously. You've got to let tempers cool - take a walk to let things cool off. It won't help either of you if either is thinking irrationally.

Step 4: Do something to remind her you love her.

Do something for her that reflects that you put time and thought into it - prepare her favorite dinner, or write her a poem from your heart. Whatever you do, it should be oriented to her, and you should take care of all the preparations yourself. Flowers and chocolates are traditional apology-related gifts, but don't let them take the place of a special gesture. The gesture you make must be from the bottom of your heart, though. Making such gestures and making her feel special are excellent ways to display your remorse and your desire to restore your relationship and build it. All things considered, failure to make her feel good after you apologize will diminish the value and meaning of the apology.

Step 5: Put it behind you.

The final step of the apology process is to let the issue die as you look forward to a nice future together. What good will it do to remind each other of past mistakes? Past mistakes don't contribute to today's relationship - let them go. Living for the day and building a future is difficult enough without constantly dragging up and rehashing issues from the past. You have to be concentrating on enjoying together the life you have now, no the mistakes of the past.

Remember these steps whenever you need to apologize to your girlfriend. Remember, it's not unthinkable to make a mistake. It's critical to the quality of our lives and relationships that we learn from our mistakes.


If you found this article helpful and you'd like to learn more things you can do to help your relationship, check out the article Girlfriend Is Mad at Me on my website Get Back My Girlfriend.

Steve Steiner enjoys helping men deal with the conflicts and challenges they experience in relating with women and helping them form successful relationships.