A fascinating ritual occurs when someone turns 100. A newspaper sends a reporter to ask the centenarian, “What is your secret to a long life and good health?” The irony is that they don’t know.
Often they make something up, e.g., broccoli, red wine, or prunes. When Diane Sawyer on ABC News asked 98-year-old Beatrice Wood how she managed to live so long, she replied, “Chocolate and young men.” George Burns quipped it was junk food, saying “at my age I need all the preservatives I can get.”
When we look at vital centenarians as a group, however, their anti-aging secrets become obvious. Physically they have little in common. Most don’t smoke and they typically maintain a fairly constant weight throughout their lives. They are physically active people (a lifestyle choice). As actress Helen Hayes put it, “If you rest, you rust.” That’s about all the vital centenarians have in common physically.
Their single biggest secret is that they all have a strong sense of purpose throughout their lives. That was easier for most of them then for us. They grew up in a time when people often worked for the same employer or even at the same job for their whole career. Marriage was till death do us part. Religion provided a strong sense of identity.
Today we have so many choices. We often reinvent our careers and move to other cities to pursue education or jobs. Half of our marriages end in divorce.
Anti-aging psychology finds that when we don’t have a strong sense of purpose, we become vulnerable to depression, despair, and physical illnesses. We lose our spark and vitality and argue with our alarm clocks about getting up in the morning. If at any time in your life you don’t have a strong sense of purpose, finding one needs to be a very high priority.
As Robert Byrne put it, “The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” We all seek happiness. As Helen Keller put it, “Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”
There are some other key mental health traits that distinguish vital centenarians. They are independent and self-reliant people. They view life as too precious to fret about what others think. When they go to a doctor, they decide for themselves whether the doctor’s advice makes sense. When a reporter asked a 104 year old woman what was the best thing about being 104, she replied, “No peer pressure.”
They are optimists and have a positive outlook on life. They foster fond memories and let bad memories wither. Consequently, as researcher Belle Boone Beard found, they have twice as many fond memories as negative memories. They let go of resentments. They also have a good sense of humor.
Another key skill is dealing with change. When actress Helen Hayes was asked the best age of her life, she said, “Whatever age I am is the best age.” and she added and “The age we live in is the best age.” Those who view change as threatening and unsettling experience more stress. The key is to embrace change as an exciting ride and to see our times as offering unprecedented opportunity and choice.
Finally, vital centenarians have good coping skills for dealing with change and with loss. If you are going to live a long time, you are going to see a lot of friends and family die. If each death is a devastating tragedy, you will become especially vulnerable to depression and illness. There are many perspectives that help in coping with death including religious beliefs, seeing death as part of life, and perceiving the deceased loved one as a helpful ongoing presence.
What is especially encouraging about these traits is they are all learnable and they are all choices.
If you are ever tempted to say “I’m too old to learn something new,” just think of George Dawson.
Mr. Dawson was an African-American who dropped out of elementary school to help on the farm. When he was 98 years old he decided he was “tired of writing my name with an X” and went to adult education classes and learned to read. His IQ was probably a little below average. At 102 he co-wrote his autobiography, Life is So Good.
If he can learn to read at 98, you certainly aren’t too old to learn something new.
Dr. Michael Brickey, The Anti-Aging Psychologist, teaches people to think, feel, look and be more youthful. He is an inspiring keynote speaker and Oprah-featured author. His works include: Defy Aging, 52 Baby Steps to grow young, and Reverse Aging (anti-aging hypnosis CDs). Visit www.NotAging.com for a free report on anti-aging secrets and a free newsletter with practical anti-aging tips.
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