Why an article on accountability? While hardly a new topic, the concept is widely maligned, misunderstood, or missed completely. Until we are willing to live our lives from an accountable perspective, there are always excuses as to why we can’t, why our lives don’t work, and why we should not even try.
Let’s start at the beginning. The 3 basic levels of accountability are, briefly:
1) Accountability for our feelings: I do not have choice regarding all the events in my life but I always have choice in how I respond to those events.
2) Accountability for our feelings, choices and lessons: I co-create the experiences in my life. I choose not to waste precious energy blaming myself or anyone else. I honestly examine all of MY choices that co-create the experiences in my life and I choose to learn valuable lessons from everything I experience.
3) Spiritual accountability for everything: This level of accountability is best framed by the statement, “I chose my parents and I will choose the time, place and method of my death.” The implications are many but simply put, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. The experiences we co-create here on earth have some purpose or lesson for us, both at a human and spiritual level. It is our job while we are here to discover that purpose, learn and evolve.
Accountability is a massive concept; however there are some foundational ideas that assist in its integration:
1) Accountability is not “right”, it is simply a way of viewing our lives and experiences that helps us to let go of the past and move forward in life.
2) Accountability is an internal experience; no one can make you accountable
3) Accountability is the foundation of freedom and personal power
In defining accountability it is sometimes easier to start with what accountability is NOT, as our society is very invested in the model of blame. If something is “wrong” then there must be someone to blame; someone or something is responsible. Accountability is NOT SELF BLAME. Too many people believe that being accountable is being responsible and most have the experience of blame attached to being responsible.
The first and most important step in understanding and applying accountability is accepting the concept there is NO BLAME. This idea, while it sounds simple, is really quite radical, and doesn’t fit within belief systems held by most.
If the concept of no blame is difficult for you, simply ask yourself this question, “What if there is no one to blame?” How would that impact your life? How could it assist you and free up your energy? Would this idea support you to forgive yourself and others? Simply releasing the energy of blame can transform your life.
Become conscious of where in your life you blame others and you blame yourself. If possible, let go of the blame and see how it feels.
A concept that allowed me to stop blaming is: We all have made the best possible choices we knew how to make when those choices were made, with the information we had at the time. (Information means our entire development as human beings, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually).
The truth is, for most people, this is exceptionally difficult to accept. We have been hard wired to blame and there must be someone or something at fault. If we begin to release this idea, we can let go of the emotional energy and weight of blame in our lives. What we are aiming for is the experience of truly accepting what is.
Regardless of how much we feel blame may be justified in a given circumstance, a more important question is, “Is it your wisest choice to consume your precious life energy blaming yourself or others?”
If we choose to blame, we project our life experiences outside of ourselves where we have no power, or internally where we diminish and demean ourselves. From either of these positions we cannot learn or move forward in life. We can only stay stuck.
Next, ask the question, “What is my life lesson in this experience?” Only after answering this question can we really move forward to the power of accountability. The key to ongoing empowerment and personal evolution is interpreting and applying the lessons in our lives.
Practice answering the question “What choices did I make to co-create this experience in my life?” Answer the question in areas of your life where things are going great and areas where things are not terrific. There are significant lessons in both circumstances.
Now the most important aspect of truly being accountable is the application of the lesson(s). Accountability has become a much more commonly used term over the past 15 years. Many people now profess to be accountable and, even more entertaining, to taking accountability. I always wonder, taking it from where? The grounding of taking accountability is usually still related to the weight of responsibility and blame, yet the results in their lives never seem to shift.
Here is the measure of true accountability. Our results in life change because we apply the lessons of our life. It is a simple and powerful measure. If our results do not change, we have not learned the lessons and keep recreating similar experiences over and over again.
If we choose to accept (and apply) the concept of accountability, then no matter the circumstance, we can choose to accept, learn and grow, regardless of how challenging it may be.
The final component of accountability is the capacity to attach meaning and significance to the events in our lives in a manner that supports us to move forward, evolve and more consciously engage in our lives.
Jay Fiset is a powerful speaker and a leader. His company, Personal Best Seminars, is a leading seminar company that provides workshops promoting self-awareness, stimulating personal growth, and personal accountability. He is committed to personal development, conscious parenting, and lifelong learning. You can visit his website here, http://www.personalbestseminars.com.
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