Freedom and Power of Accountability

Why an article on accountability? While hardly a new topic, the concept is widely maligned, misunderstood, or missed completely. Until we are willing to live our lives from an accountable perspective, there are always excuses as to why we can’t, why our lives don’t work, and why we should not even try.

Let’s start at the beginning. The 3 basic levels of accountability are, briefly:

1) Accountability for our feelings: I do not have choice regarding all the events in my life but I always have choice in how I respond to those events.

2) Accountability for our feelings, choices and lessons: I co-create the experiences in my life. I choose not to waste precious energy blaming myself or anyone else. I honestly examine all of MY choices that co-create the experiences in my life and I choose to learn valuable lessons from everything I experience.

3) Spiritual accountability for everything: This level of accountability is best framed by the statement, “I chose my parents and I will choose the time, place and method of my death.” The implications are many but simply put, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. The experiences we co-create here on earth have some purpose or lesson for us, both at a human and spiritual level. It is our job while we are here to discover that purpose, learn and evolve.

Accountability is a massive concept; however there are some foundational ideas that assist in its integration:

1) Accountability is not “right”, it is simply a way of viewing our lives and experiences that helps us to let go of the past and move forward in life.

2) Accountability is an internal experience; no one can make you accountable

3) Accountability is the foundation of freedom and personal power

In defining accountability it is sometimes easier to start with what accountability is NOT, as our society is very invested in the model of blame. If something is “wrong” then there must be someone to blame; someone or something is responsible. Accountability is NOT SELF BLAME. Too many people believe that being accountable is being responsible and most have the experience of blame attached to being responsible.

The first and most important step in understanding and applying accountability is accepting the concept there is NO BLAME. This idea, while it sounds simple, is really quite radical, and doesn’t fit within belief systems held by most.

If the concept of no blame is difficult for you, simply ask yourself this question, “What if there is no one to blame?” How would that impact your life? How could it assist you and free up your energy? Would this idea support you to forgive yourself and others? Simply releasing the energy of blame can transform your life.

Become conscious of where in your life you blame others and you blame yourself. If possible, let go of the blame and see how it feels.

A concept that allowed me to stop blaming is: We all have made the best possible choices we knew how to make when those choices were made, with the information we had at the time. (Information means our entire development as human beings, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually).

The truth is, for most people, this is exceptionally difficult to accept. We have been hard wired to blame and there must be someone or something at fault. If we begin to release this idea, we can let go of the emotional energy and weight of blame in our lives. What we are aiming for is the experience of truly accepting what is.

Regardless of how much we feel blame may be justified in a given circumstance, a more important question is, “Is it your wisest choice to consume your precious life energy blaming yourself or others?”

If we choose to blame, we project our life experiences outside of ourselves where we have no power, or internally where we diminish and demean ourselves. From either of these positions we cannot learn or move forward in life. We can only stay stuck.

Next, ask the question, “What is my life lesson in this experience?” Only after answering this question can we really move forward to the power of accountability. The key to ongoing empowerment and personal evolution is interpreting and applying the lessons in our lives.

Practice answering the question “What choices did I make to co-create this experience in my life?” Answer the question in areas of your life where things are going great and areas where things are not terrific. There are significant lessons in both circumstances.

Now the most important aspect of truly being accountable is the application of the lesson(s). Accountability has become a much more commonly used term over the past 15 years. Many people now profess to be accountable and, even more entertaining, to taking accountability. I always wonder, taking it from where? The grounding of taking accountability is usually still related to the weight of responsibility and blame, yet the results in their lives never seem to shift.

Here is the measure of true accountability. Our results in life change because we apply the lessons of our life. It is a simple and powerful measure. If our results do not change, we have not learned the lessons and keep recreating similar experiences over and over again.

If we choose to accept (and apply) the concept of accountability, then no matter the circumstance, we can choose to accept, learn and grow, regardless of how challenging it may be.

The final component of accountability is the capacity to attach meaning and significance to the events in our lives in a manner that supports us to move forward, evolve and more consciously engage in our lives.

Jay Fiset is a powerful speaker and a leader. His company, Personal Best Seminars, is a leading seminar company that provides workshops promoting self-awareness, stimulating personal growth, and personal accountability. He is committed to personal development, conscious parenting, and lifelong learning. You can visit his website here, http://www.personalbestseminars.com.

Success Coaching: Instant Success

As a success coach, I have a lot of fun working with energetic, motivated individuals who are eager to turn their dreams into reality. They’ve made that important step from talking about success to actually creating it.

In helping these “doers” create the necessary strategies to achieve their goals, much of my time is spent talking with them about their expectations of how quickly they can accomplish their goals. In the success coaching process, it’s not always the most enjoyable part of what we do together, but it is a very important one. After all, it’s important to have big goals to work towards, but it’s just as important to have realistic expectations about how and when those dreams can be made real.

Unfortunately, everything today is about speed and getting more done, faster than ever before. Not necessarily a bad goal, but that push for speed spills over into all aspects of our lives. We want fast service and fast results -- no matter what we’re doing.

Everywhere we look in our instant-everything environment we see examples of this: fast-food restaurants, one-hour photo stores, 10-minute oil change shops, do-it-yourself express-lane checkout, etc. We continue to move faster and faster… and we grow incredibly impatient, especially when it comes to people enjoying the fruit of our own efforts. Getting all we ever wanted just isn't enough, unless in can happen instantly.... overnight... right away... right now!

Success, however, rarely (if ever) occurs instantaneously. It comes to you on its own schedule as the result of consistent, persistent action. Rather than stressing yourself out, take things easy… take your time… stop expecting instant results. Do what needs doing and let life take its own course. This way, you can focus on working smarter and more efficiently while enjoying the process of what you’re doing.

Sure, there will be times when you get immediate results and achieve success quickly. Most of the time you’ll need to be patient… Just because you're not getting instant results doesn't mean you won't get any. If you keep working towards your goals, maintaining a sustained, consistent effort, readjusting your plans as necessary along the way, you will create the success you’re looking for.

Consider this analogy: You build a large, thousand-mile-long pipeline, from Alaska to California. You drill for oil and start pumping it into the pipeline… Now, do you have oil coming out of the other end immediately? Of course not! You have to be patient and wait a while. Eventually, the oil will start to flow at the other end, but only if you keep on drilling and filling up the pipe.

It's the same way your own efforts. You have to be patient while your work creates the success you desire. By not forcing the timetable and pushing for immediate results, you actually improve your chances of achieving your goals.

How can get a more realistic expectation of your goals? Easy...

First, make a plan before you mark your calendar. That’s right, sit down and figure out exactly how you’re going to achieve your goal. Figure out all the steps. Determine what resources you already have and which ones you need… Then write it all down, ALONG WITH your estimate of how long it will take to accomplish each individual step! Chances are your time estimates for individual steps will be more accurate than a single estimate for the entire project since you will be looking at smaller action items.

Second, with your firm-but-flexible plan in hand, make a list of potential obstacles, big and small, that could get in your way. Counterintuitive? Too negative? I don’t think so… It’s really an extension of planning that can actually save you time. Thinking about what may slow you down helps prepare you for overcoming those obstacles, thus speeding you back up. Figure out the average time delay an obstacle presents and factor that into your time estimates.

Third, and finally, look around for examples of people who have accomplished the same (or a similar) goal. Ask them how long it took them to achieve success (versus what they thought it would take)? What obstacles did they face? What surprises did they encounter along the way?

Talking with others who have done what you want to do is a great way to estimate how long it might take you. Plus, you get the added benefit of learning from other people’s experience (which, again, could save you a lot of time)!

Three very simple steps, but they can help you focus your mind on the real work necessary to make your dreams a reality.

With a more realistic sense of what can be accomplished, the more you’ll enjoy every step in the process of creating success in your life. And when you do reach your goals, you’ll see that the success you achieve is more than worth the wait.

Jim M. Allen, The Big Life Guy™, a professional success coach and success coaching guide, has been working with clients from around the world since 1999. For more ideas, visit his website, http://www.BigIdeaCoach.com or subscribe to his free ezine, The Big Idea, by going to: www.BigIdeaCoach.com/subscribe.html