Max De Pree
Letting Go
Like many people, I started 2010 with a list of goals for the year. Some of these goals related to my business and were being kept alive because they had not been achieved in 2009. Truthfully, I was dragging them forward and they were being kept alive with CPR – Constant Pressure & Resistance. They were all sensible goals – things I was told I 'should' do to make my business grow and be successful. However, I had lost energy and enthusiasm for them, in part because my business had shifted since becoming an Associate with The Achievement Centre. Every time I thought about what would be necessary to achieve these particular goals, I felt weighed down and drained. This then gave me the opportunity to criticize myself for not doing what I 'should' be doing. I was stalled and frustrated.
Fortunately, I am a product of the product and I have a coach. During one of our coaching sessions in January, I identified these business goals as ones for which I needed to be held accountable. My coach very wisely asked 'why?'. I explained that these were still unachieved and that I felt stalled. She then asked why these were important. What unfolded in our conversation was surprising and liberating.
I realized and admitted that I was hanging on to these goals because I felt a need to prove myself and I would judge myself a failure by not achieving them. Definitely a lack of passion driving those goals! My coach reminded me that I do not need to do things to prove my worth, instead I do them because I am worthy.
Ironically, for about 3 years I had been saying that I wanted an ongoing business arrangement where I would be valued and well-paid to show up and do what I love to do. I also wanted to be part of a successful and stimulating team. Both of these requests had been fulfilled when I started to work with The Achievement Centre early last year. (The Law of Attraction in action!) I had been given what I asked for, yet I was still hanging onto my previous goals that had become 'shoulds' and were no longer relevant.
My coach then said something that instantly shifted things for me -
“Letting go is not loss, it is freedom.” (source unknown)
A huge weight was lifted from me and I breathed a sigh of relief as I let these goals go. That allowed me to be clear and purposeful about my business and where and how I am investing my time and energy. I feel free from the 'shoulds' and the fear of failure. I feel free to follow the energy and be grateful for the abundance of opportunities that show up every day.
It is said that we teach best that which we most need to learn, and this is an excellent example – I've been there, done that and have the t-shirt!
Are there things in your life that you are holding onto that are no longer relevant or energizing for you? Do you have things that you think you 'should' be doing?
The definition of 'should' is: a word used to express obligation or duty; the thought that you ought to be or do something.
I invite you to take a good look at the 'shoulds' in your life and ask yourself the following questions:
Is the 'should' a duty or an obligation that is someone else's agenda for me?
Is it meaningful and relevant to me?
Do I get excited about doing what is required and the outcome?
Can I do it joyfully?
Would I feel relieved if I let it go?
Does it allow me to be who and how I want to be?
Am I doing it in an attempt to prove my worth, or because I am worthy?
Let go of what doesn't fit for you and free yourself up to be who and how you truly want to be. Follow the energy and be grateful for the abundance of opportunities that show up every day.
More quotes on letting go:
“Every time you let go of something limiting, you create space or something better.”
Stephen C. Paul
“There's an important difference between giving up and letting go.”
Jessica Hatchigan
“Trying creates impossibilities, letting go creates what is desired.”
Stalking Wolf, Apache Elder
"Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?"
Mary Manin Morrissey
Author's Bio
Janet Christensen, President & CIO of Dynamic Awareness Inc. is a life and transitions coach, speaker, Master Passion Map™ practitioner, accredited retirement coach, Power Coach® and author. Prior to starting her own company, Janet had over 25 years of experience in the corporate world as a manager, trainer and facilitator, where she was formally recognized by REALTY WORLD Corporation, Kelly Services and the Canadian Diabetes Association for her leadership. Janet's commitment to and expertise in helping people live to their passion and potential supports both individuals and organizations in clarifying and reaching their goals. Janet has authored several published articles and co-authored the books Expert Women Who Speak, Speak Out, Vol. 2 and 5.
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